Through the eyes of a child
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: When Lisbon gets shot, she mentally turns into a twelve year old. How will the team, and especially Jane, cope with it? AU, OOC, Jisbon, rated T. Chapter 19/Eighteen is slightly M-rated.
1. Prologue

**A/N: First, I want to thank everybody that has ever reviewed other stories of me. I love you all, guys, and I wouldn't have written all these stories if it weren't for you! So: THANKS! A big, BIG thanks to you! (tears well up :D)**

**This is just a prologue for a bigger story. I don't know how long it's gonna be, or how frequently I'm gonna upload it. All I know is that I myself completely LOVE this idea :D. So a big thanks to Essebes, my best friend EVER for giving me this idea! Love you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

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><p><strong>J<strong>ane dove behind the wall that separated their suspect from the team.

Jane hated these moments. Moments where he lost control.

He looked at Lisbon, who occasionally fired some bullets at the man. She was such a hero. Though her appearance seemed different, showing a sweet, loving woman, she was a true bad-assed cop.

She quickly sat down beside him, avoiding the bullets that came flying around her head. She didn't seem bothered by the way their arms brushed against each other.

"You're okay?" Lisbon quickly asked, and Jane nodded.  
>She smiled, and jumped up again. She fired another few bullets before leaving him, approaching the guy.<p>

And after a few moments, it suddenly went silent, the only sounds heard were Jane's heart beating in his chest and his breath, accelerating. Lisbon must've caught their suspect.

He stood up, looked around the corner and saw, much to his surprise, that Lisbon was laying on the floor, in a big pool of blood.

"Lisbon!" Jane immediately exclaimed, and ran over to her. The suspect had already left. He guessed that was for later care.

He knelt down beside her, lifting her upper body.

He felt is she still had a pulse.

She had.

She opened her eyes, immediately catching his blue eyes with her green ones.

"Who're you?" she asked, and Jane frowned.

"Lisbon, I'm Jane. You don't remember?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"I'm Teresa."

"Oh God… How old are you?"

"Twelve."

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><p><strong>AN: Little short, but what do you think? Let me know in a REVIEW, THANK you!**


	2. Chapter One

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing and adding this story to your following lists. Love you!**

**I've set a new rule! I'm going to watch if it works! It's this: I'm only going to upload if there are 3 new reviews for this and the previous chapter (so the complete story. Instead of 3 reviews that I have right now for this story, I now want 6 reviews before I'll post another chapter!). So PLEASE, for your own good, REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

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><p>"No, you're not," Jane said. Lisbon looked at her arm, the shirt she was wearing now red with blood.<p>

"I'm hurt! It hurts!" she exclaimed, swinging her arm around her in an attempt to get rid of the pain. Jane just hold her in his arms, trying to calm her down a bit.

"Leave me alone!" Lisbon exclaimed, and tried to escape out of his embrace. Jane closed his eyes, and let her go.

"I need to go to a hospital!" she shouted, and looked around.

"Where are my mum and dad?" she asked, and Jane swallowed.

What had happened? Lisbon was suddenly twelve again, but she was still in her bad-assed lady cop body.

Jane stood up, grabbed Lisbon's phone out of her pocket, causing her to gasp. He dialed the first number from somebody of the team. It was Cho.

"Cho."

"Can you come here please? Something's wrong with Lisbon."

"Where are you?"

"At the victim's house."

"We're on our way," Cho said, and hung up. Jane sighed, and looked at Lisbon.

"So... You're Teresa? And you're twelve?" Jane asked, and Lisbon nodded.

Jane had heard of this. Someone who gets hit in his or her head (not counting the bullet wound in Lisbon's arm right now), and then gets back to an earlier age in their life, to a moment where everything still went great.

He'd experienced it as well, when he was almost killed. He had gone back to before Angela and Charlotte had died, before all the bad things had happened to him.

But that had been only ten years. Lisbon had gone back in time for almost 26 years, if this whole 'Lisbon-was-twelve-again-instead-of-38' thing was true, that was.

He just hoped that this was going to be temporarily, because he didn't feel like taking care of a twelve year old Lisbon.

-YulianaHenderson-

"I'm Agent Cho. These people are Agent Lisbon and Mister Jane," Cho said when they reached the desk in the hospital.

"Okay. Why are you here?" the young woman who sat at the other side of the desk asked, and Cho motioned to Lisbon to lift her arm. She did, and it clearly hurt as the fabric of her shirt scraped past the bullet wound on her arm.

The eyes of the lady widened, and she immediately began calling a doctor. Lisbon was getting uncomfortable when a doctor approached them.

It looked really strange, Lisbon fearing doctors. But then again, she wasn't really the Lisbon he knew. So, who knew, maybe she really hated doctors when she was younger.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Snow. You must be Miss Lisbon?" the doctor asked, reaching out his hand for her to shake. Now, Lisbon backed away, almost hiding behind Jane and Cho.

Dr. Snow frowned.

"Yeah, about that 'Miss' part...," Jane started, but Cho took over.

"She's been hit and now she's twelve again," he deadpanned. The doctor seemed to think about this. He looked at Lisbon again, scanning her up and won, and raised his eyebrows.

"I see. Well, let's take care of that bullet wound first, okay?" Dr. Snow asked, his question mainly focused on Lisbon. She nodded.

Dr. Snow reached out for Lisbon's arm, examining it, and nodded.

"What's your name again?" he asked.

"Teresa," Lisbon said, and looked at Jane. He smiled awkwardly, and nodded.

"Well Teresa, if you would like to follow me?" he asked, and already walked into the direction of the ORs.

Lisbon shyly followed the doctor.

Jane followed his with his gaze, and sighed when she disappeared.

"Great," Cho deadpanned again, and Jane looked at him.

"What now?" Jane asked. Cho just looked at him.

"You're the smart guy, I'm sure you'll figure it out," Cho said, and walked past Jane, out of the hospital.

Jane ran his hands though his curls, not really sure what he should do.

"Can I make a call please?" Jane asked, and the young woman at the desk looked up again. She nodded, and gave him her phone.

Jane dialed the number of Wainwright (he didn't knew why he knew that one), and when Wainwright stated his name, Jane immediately began telling the story.  
>When he was done, it was awfully silent at the other end of the conversation. Jane assumed Wainwright was thinking of a solution.<p>

"Stay with Lisbon. Ask the doctor to run a few tests and see what comes out of that. _You_ know Lisbon's not Lisbon, convince the doctor of that. I know you can, you're way to arrogant to shut down now. When you're done, come to the HQ and meet me in my office. Be sure to take Lisbon with you," Wainwright ordered, and Jane nodded.

"Okay," Jane said, and hung up. He returned the phone and sat down in the waiting room.

Damn it, why did this have to happen to Lisbon, of all people?

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><p><strong>AN: Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you! **

**Don't forget: 3 more reviews, so 6 reviews in total! :D**


	3. Chapter Two

**A/N: Holy cow guys! That was seriously really fast! Within 20 minutes I had already 6 reviews! This just goes to show how much I love you guys! And that's why I give you another chapter of this story, as some kind of reward! Love you!**

**Thank God I already had the next chapter done! I'm not sure if I'll be able to post a chapter tomorrow (though I would love it :D), so let's say... 12 reviews (for the complete story) for the next chapter? (a) Then I'll still have time to write the next chapter :D.**

**Meanwhile, enjoy chapter two (actually, officially, it's chapter three, I also have this chapter listed in my Doc Manager as Chapter Three, but because of the prologue, it's chapter two... :D)!**

**For the people that have read my other (Multi-chaps) as well: These chapters are a bit shorter than my usual chapters, but that's just to make the cliffhangers (if they're there right now, but yeah :D) more perfect, and to stretch this story to a true multi-chapter, not that Lisbon gets back to her 38 year old self in the second chapter, because that would just be boring :D.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

"Mister Jane, you can come in now," Dr. Snow said, opening the door. Jane swallowed.

He entered the room, and saw that Lisbon was laying on a bed. A bandage was now covering the bullet wound.

Lisbon seemed at bit tired and dozy, but that wasn't strange because she had to be brought under narcosis for the operation.

She looked up at him, and smiled. She seemed to recognize him, even if it wasn't recognizing him with names. But it was a start.

"There were no complications. Everything went well. But now we still have the other problem," the doctor said, and looked at Lisbon.

"I'm going to call a psychiatrist, he'll know what to do," he said, and looked at Jane again.

"Do you have a number he can call?" he asked. Jane thought, and nodded. He looked around, and saw Lisbon's jacket laying on the chair next to the bed. He picked it up, looking for those little cards Lisbon carried with her when they were in the field. He finally found them, and gave one to the doctor. He looked at it, and nodded.

"Alright. There's nothing I can do, for now. Miss Lisbon is allowed to go home, but make sure she's under protection. Oh, and I'm not a psychiatrist, but I know not to force any of her memories up on her. It can only turn out worse than it already was," he said. He checked a few more things before leaving the two alone.

Jane turned around and looked at Lisbon.

"Let me introduce myself, since you don't seem to remember me. I'm Patrick Jane," he said, deciding not to tell her about the CBI yet. He reached out his hand, and she shook it.

"Okay. Where are my parents?" Lisbon asked, and Jane sighed.

"I'll tell you eventually. Now, do you want to go somewhere else? There is someone you have to meet."

-YulianaHenderson-

When Lisbon and Jane rode the elevator, they were completely silent. Just as silent and awkward in the car a few minutes ago. Lisbon looked down at her arm, apparently examining the bandage.

Jane just stared at the ceiling of the elevator, thinking. This was sure enough something different than laying on his couch all day, Lisbon complaining about his bad working ethic.

The doors opened, and Van Pelt already awaited them.

She hugged Lisbon, but Lisbon just looked confused, since she didn't remember Jane, and then impossibly could remember Van Pelt.

Jane looked at Van Pelt, softly shaking his head.

She pulled away from Lisbon, scanning her from head to toe.

"I heard what happened! Are you alright?" Van Pelt asked, and Lisbon looked at Jane.

"Grace, she doesn't remember you, I'm afraid. Teresa, this is Grace van Pelt. Be sure to be nice with Grace, because she's a really sweet girl," Jane said, and walked past Van Pelt. He just needed to get to Wainwright's office quick, because he was afraid that something would trigger any memories she had. He knew how hard that would be for Lisbon, it had been hard enough when he had experienced it.

When he entered Wainwright's office, he immediately looked up. And when he saw Jane, followed by a very shy Lisbon, he jumped up.

"Thank God you're here!" he said, and motioned to the chairs in front of his desk.

Jane sat down, and Lisbon followed him. She looked around, taking in the new environment. Jane and Wainwright observed her, and when she noticed the two were looking at her, she looked at Wainwright.

Wainwright looked at Jane, for some kind of explanation, and Jane just mouthed _'Teresa'_. Wainwright knew what he meant.

"Teresa, I'm Supervising Agent Luther Wainwright. You're probably wondering why you're here," he said, and she nodded.

"This is the CBI, the California Bureau of Investigation. You're here because you-" Wainwright started, but Jane interrupted him by shaking his head.

"-because Jane works here," he quickly said, and Lisbon looked at Jane.

"That's right," Jane said, and at that moment, Lisbon's phone rang. She searched her pockets, for as far as that was possible with only one hand, and looked at it as she found it. Not that she didn't knew how it worked, but Jane assumed it was difficult enough for her because everything suddenly seemed strange and new.

Jane reached out his hand, and Lisbon placed the phone in it.

"Patrick Jane," Jane started, and said 'Oh really?' and 'That's great' a few times, and then hung up. Meanwhile, Lisbon had left the office on Wainwright's order and had went to Van Pelt, to meet the team.

Jane turned to Wainwright.

"Dr. Snow, the doctor that helped me and Lisbon in the hospital, found a psychiatrist that will probably know how to deal with this and how to cure it. His name is Clayton Wiliams. He said that he will send his number to you," he said, and Wainwright frowned.

"Yeah, I gave him the cute little cards Lisbon carries with her. Your number is on it as well," Jane explained, and Wainwright nodded.

"Okay. Make an appointment for tomorrow morning. Does she have somewhere to go?" Wainwright asked, and Jane nodded.

"Her apartment?" Jane said, and Wainwright shook his head, heavily.

"No no no! She's a minor now, she can't take care of herself," Wainwright said, and Jane closed his eyes.

"Can she stay at your place, for the time being?" Wainwright asked. Jane sighed, and nodded.

"Sure...," he sighed, and Wainwright got up.

"Great. That's a deal then, right?" he asked, and looked Jane in the eye. Jane stood up, looking behind him to see if Lisbon wasn't magically standing there again (which was not the case, of course) and looked at Wainwright again.

"Yes," Jane finally said, not realizing what he had done yet.

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><p><strong>AN: SO! Lisbon now lives with Jane. Interesting!  
>Want to know how it continues? FOLLOW this story!<strong>

**So 12 reviews for the next chapter! (It will probably be Thursday, but I'm not sure :D)**

**REVIEW, thank you! :D**


	4. Chapter Three

**A/N: Okay, so I'm terrible at keeping promises :D. Here's the next chapter, even though I don't have 12 reviews yet... Just, ENJOY this chapter, please!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

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><p>"Well, my name is Wayne Rigsby," Rigsby said, and smiled. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt had made a silent vow to Jane (and Lisbon) to not remind Lisbon of anything she did when she was still 38. Just make her feel relaxed and comfortable with them before she would remember things was the best they could do.<p>

Jane all but ran into the bullpen. The trio and Lisbon looked up at him.

"Lisbon, you're-" Jane started, but saw that Lisbon did not like being called Lisbon. Of course, she was twelve, it was very distantly and cold to be calling her by her last name. _Mental note: Start calling Lisbon Teresa._

"Sorry. Teresa, Luther said that you can stay with me for the time being," Jane said, and Teresa nodded. He saw that she didn't really liked it, but what else could she do?

"Jane? It's the psychiatrist. He says that Lisbon will get her own memories back in about two weeks. In the meantime, we can tell her that she's Lisbon and everything that happened to her since she was twelve," Van Pelt said, and Jane nodded.  
>That left the impossible job of reminding Lisbon of her past to Jane.<p>

-YulianaHenderson-

"And we're here," Jane said, stopping in front of his house. He hadn't used it for ages. He'd bought it when he started with the CBI. But it felt strange live here, since he was alone and the house was incredibly huge.

Teresa entered it after him, and looked around. She seemed impressed.

"My house is just a shoebox compared to this house," she said, and looked at Jane.

"Do you live here alone?" she asked, and Jane nodded.

"Yes," he said, and Teresa swallowed. She then looked around again.

"So you won't tell me where my parents are. But can you at least tell me where my brothers are? Because they're too young to be alone for a long time," Teresa said.

All of a sudden, an idea popped into Jane's head.

He walked into the direction of the bathroom downstairs, motioning to Teresa to follow him.

She hesitated a bit, but then walked after him into the room.

Jane stood there, in front of the mirror. Teresa raised her eyebrows.

Jane gently grabbed her arm, and pulled her in front of the mirror as well, placing his hands on her shoulder. She pushed his hands away from her, but then immediately gasped as she saw herself in the mirror.

She leant on the sink, leaning in closer. She touched her face, not comprehending what was happening.

"Why do I look this old?" Teresa asked. Jane shrugged.

"I don't know. A suspect in our case hit you," Jane said, and she turned to him.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Teresa asked, and Jane shook his head.

"Like it's easy for me," he said, and she sighed. She turned around to look at him.

"So… I'm not actually twelve, I'm…"

"38."

"I'm 38. But… I don't get it," she said, and Jane sighed.

"I don't get it either. But we have an appointment tomorrow with the psychiatrist. Maybe he can help," Jane said, and Teresa nodded.

She then turned to the mirror again.

"I'm tired, I want to go to bed," she said, and Jane nodded. Then he realized what she meant, and immediately ran outside of the bathroom, into the hall where the bedrooms were located.

She followed him, slowly, and watched as he moved a lot of pillows and blankets to another room. He then, all the while panting heavily, returned to her, and motioned to the spare room. Not that it was meant to be a spare room, or that Jane intended on inviting people over to his place, but it would do for now.

She walked into the room, and smiled.

The room was completely pink, princess and ballerinas covering the walls. Flowers were everywhere; on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling. The only think that missed was a four-poster bed.

She looked at him.

"I thought you lived alone?" she asked, and he shrugged.

"The previous owners left it like this. I haven't had the time to change it yet," he said, and she pouted.

"But I don't have any clothes," she said, and Jane nodded.

"But you've got an apartment. We'll go there tomorrow and get some clothes," he said, and she nodded.

"Are these the same clothes I'm wearing now?" she asked, and Jane chuckled.

"Yeah, you're quite the boring-clothes type," he said, and she fought back the urge to hit him.

"I want to go sleeping now," she said, and he nodded.

"Shall I give you a shirt from me, only for this night?" he asked, and she nodded, a faint smile on her lips.

He went away, and she sat down on the bed. She searched her pockets, to see it there was anything in it.

And there was. There was an old picture of her mother.

And immediately, a tear escaped her eyes, moistening the picture. She quickly wiped the tear away.

So apparently, she was not twelve. But why did she have the thoughts of a twelve year old? Her brothers maybe could figure that out. At least, if that Patrick Jane let her go. He cared about her, that was sure. But she didn't know him.

He entered the room, a shirt in his hands, and she looked up. His eyes widened when saw that Teresa was crying.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and sat down next to her. She moved away from him.

"Nothing, it's just… My mum died a few months ago," she said, and she saw Jane frowning.

"She was involved in a car accident. Now I live with my father, and my brothers. They are actually quite sweet. James, the oldest, is really smart. He's eleven right now. Michael is ten and Tommy is eight. You see why I need to get back home? James and Michael can handle on their own, but Tommy can't," Teresa rambled, and Jane just nodded, this whole situation becoming more awful with the second.

Suddenly, Teresa burst into tears, and Jane just placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to make her stop crying.

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><p><strong>AN: What do you think? Let me know!**


	5. Chapter Four

**A/N: Dear readers!**

**I love you all very much! Thanks for reviewing, putting this story on your Favorites/Alerts list. I love you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

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><p>"Did you sleep well?" Jane asked, as Teresa come downstairs, into the living room. Jane had to admit: it was strange to see the Lisbon he knew dressed in one of his shirts.<p>

Teresa just nodded.

It looked as if she had a rough night.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Jane asked, and Teresa shook her head.

"I'm not hungry," she whispered, and Jane nodded.  
>"Plausible. Probably still the morphine, right?" he asked, and she smiled a faint smile.<p>

She walked over to him.

"But I would like some milk," she said, and Jane grabbed a cup out of the cupboard. Not that there were much in it.

He poured the milk into the cup, and Teresa took it.

Instead of sitting down on the couch next to Jane, she kept standing in the kitchen, looking at him.

"What's wrong?"

"I still don't understand it. Who are you? And all the people yesterday seemed to remember me, but I don't know them. And where are my brothers and my dad?" she asked.

"Too many questions, Teresa," Jane said, and just when he finished his line, Teresa accidently dropped the cup of milk.

Her eyes widened.  
>"I'm so sorry!" she immediately exclaimed, and Jane stood up. Teresa seemed to be panicking because of this, because her breath accelerated, and tears began to sting in her eyes.<br>"Sorry!" she kept screaming, and as Jane approached her, she raised her hands in defense. Jane raised an eyebrow.  
>"It doesn't matter, Teresa," he softly said, but she already ran off to her room.<p>

That was strange. Jane wasn't angry with her. It had been a useful cup anyway, he wouldn't miss it one bit.

But it seemed as if she had the idea that he would hit her. And that really worried him. Because the only one that would have been capable to hit the twelve year old Lisbon was... her dad.

-YulianaHenderson-

"So, Mister Jane, Miss Lisbon...," the psychiatrist, Dr. Erik Brickner, began, and looked up from his clipboard.

Teresa looked at Jane, and he smiled gently.

"Teresa, I'm going to ask you a few questions, all you need to do is answer them, okay?" Dr. Brickner asked, and Teresa nodded. The doctor was around 30, Jane estimated.

The doctor asked a few questions, some of them were really difficult, but she still failed in answering every question.

"Let's go for an easier one then. What year is it?"

"1984."

"And what's your age again?"

"Twelve?" The doctor frowned, and wrote some things down.

"Tell me about your family," the doctor said, and looked at Teresa again.

"Well, my mum died a few months ago. Car crash. My father is very sad about that. He was actually really sad about it. I now temporarily take care of my brothers. But I don't worry about it," Teresa said, and Jane closed his eyes.

"And your brothers?"  
>"Oh! James is thirteen, he's really smart. Michael is ten, he's just... annoying. But sweet sometimes. And Tommy is eight. He's just really sweet. He always treats me like my-" she said, but stopped mid-sentence at the awareness of what she was going to say.<p>

"Your mother?" Dr. Brickner asked. Teresa nodded.

"It's okay."

As the little 'chat' progressed, the answers on the question became much more unbelievable. Jane had stood up, walking out of the room. He had heard enough, he didn't like hearing this all. Of course, he knew a few things already, but he had the feeling he didn't belong there, like everything she told was too personal. Like he wasn't supposed to know all these things.

He entered the room after ten more minutes. The two looked up at him, and Dr. Brickner smiled.

"I'm sure now that this will only last for two weeks. It _is_ a severe head trauma," he said.

"Can we force anything on her? Like telling about you-know-what?" Jane asked, and the doctor thought.

"You can, but be sure to do it subtle. No need to damage her, right?" the doctor asked, and Jane shook his head.

"Make her feel comfortable, make sure she begins to like you, and then, the memories will soon return."

"Okay. Thank you," Jane said, and stood up again. Teresa followed him, waving at the doctor and giggling.

"How old do you think Dr. Brickner is?" Teresa asked, as they walked through the halls. Jane smiled.

"Why? Does somebody here have an eye on him?" Jane teased, and Teresa smiled.

"No!" she exclaimed, and hit his arm.

Jane was starting to like this side of Lisbon, even if it wasn't a right side.

He always knew that people were much more fun when they were teens. And now, he knew for sure.

But he needed to find out why Teresa had been scared of him that morning. Because if he wouldn't do anything about it, she would soon leave him, and he wouldn't want to be responsible for anything that happened to her after that.

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><p><strong>AN: Jane finally discovers a bit of Lisbon's past. Finally!**

**Dam dam! Jane finally begins teasing Lisbon again :D.**

**Let me know what you thought in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	6. Chapter Five

**A/N: Though it's _my_ birthday today, I have a surprise for you: the next chapter of this awesome (not) story!**

**ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist. What a shame, right?**

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><p>"Patrick?"<p>

Jane looked up from the newspaper he was reading. Teresa was standing in the doorway, wearing her own night gown right now. She and Jane had went to her apartment straight after their appointment with the psychiatrist.

Teresa had laughed at all the clothes she'd kept there. She chose all the clothes that looked even a bit girlish, on which Jane had smiled.

Another reason to like teen Teresa.  
>She now wore a white night gown that ended just above her knees. At the space between her ribs and belly there was a cute pink ribbon.<p>

Jane didn't even knew Lisbon had these kind of clothes.

"Yes?"

"I just want to say goodnight," she said, and walked over to Jane. He smiled.

She placed a soft kiss on his cheek, and went to her bedroom.

Jane sighed.

Lisbon better get her memories back, because he didn't knew how long he would survive this.

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane laid down in his bed. Well, it was supposed to be his bed.

He still wasn't used to this house, and this bed. The made-shift bed up in the attic of the CBI was way more comfortable than this one.

He wished that Teresa lived with him under other circumstances. Not like this.

He opened his eyes.

Sleeping was useless now, he would only get depressed because of all the thoughts he had, which he couldn't shut down.

He walked over to Teresa's room.

She was sleeping, looking very peaceful as she did. _She must be dreaming about her brothers_, Jane thought.

He sat down on the edge of her bed, and looked down at her.

He brushed a few strands of hair away from her face, to behind her ears.

Suddenly, the expression on her face changed. The cute smile disappeared and she looked very scared now.

"No," she whispered, and Jane frowned.

"No, dad, please, no," she said, this time louder. She began to swing around with her arms, which shocked him. He frantically grabbed her arms, stopping her from hurting him or herself.

"Teresa," he whispered."

"Teresa, it's okay, I'm here," he soothingly said, but Teresa kept on screaming.

He cupped her face, and her eyes shot open.

She flinched when she felt something on her face. She tried to get if off of her, but then she realized it was Jane. Jane saw that tears were stinging in her eyes.

Jane pulled her up, and hugged her.  
>She swung her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck.<p>

Jane soothingly rubbed little circles on her back. Teresa now cried, moistening Jane's shirt. Not that he mattered, though.

"It's okay, you can cry," Jane whispered in her ear.

After a few minutes of crying, Teresa's breath slowed down again, and she pulled away. She wiped her eyes, and looked him in the eyes.

Jane looked into hers. He could see that she was... embarrassed, especially because she didn't knew who he was.

"You okay?" he asked, and she nodded. She looked at her lap.

"Teresa?" Jane started, and she looked up again.

"Yes?"

"Uhm... You screamed 'dad' in your sleep," he said.

She nodded.

"Does that... mean something?"

"She shook her head.  
>"You sure?"<p>

"Yes."

"Because if your dad does something to you, you know you can tell me, right?" he asked, and she nodded.

Jane sighed. Why was talking about feelings this hard for him? He saw Teresa couldn't handle this, and that was it for him. He didn't want to hurt her, and especially not in the state she was in now.

He stood up, and Teresa laid down again.

Without saying anything, Jane left her room, and Teresa went back to sleep.

Jane sat down on his bed.

Okay, so he knew that Teresa's dad did some bad things to her. But what?  
>He couldn't do anything against it, considering her dad is dead for ages.<p>

But maybe he could help her through this now? Maybe it would pay off when she got her memories back.

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><p><strong>AN: What do you think? Let me know in a REVIEW, thank you!**

**So, like I said... It's my birthday today, and I would love a few reviews as some kind of birthday present... *wink wink***


	7. Chapter Six

**A/N: First off: A MASSIVE thanks to everybody that reviewed as some kind of birthday present yesterday! I owe you something! **

**I must tell you that I don't think I will be able to upload a new chapter the next two, three or even four days. I'm seriously busy with school right now (I'm in my last year of High School, so...), so don't blame me for a big delay on this story. I might promise to upload a new chapter this Saturday, but I don't know if I can keep my promise :D. I'll try, at least :D.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist.**

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><p>Jane looked up.<p>

Teresa was eating her breakfast, not once looking away from the plate with the cereals.

Jane ran through all the options he had now.

He could just confront her with it. But that would just be plain mean, Teresa was already coping with a lot, being direct would only make it worse.

He could also bring it subtly. But in the end, it would end the same way as the first.

"Teresa?" he started, and she still stared at her cereals.

"Yes?"

"About... about this night," he said, and she swallowed.

"What about it?"

"Your dad, he... did he... do anything... bad to you?" he asked, and she looked up.

It scared him, the way she looked at him. So... deeply hurt.

"No."

He coughed. This was not going anywhere. He needed to do something, now.

"Teresa, you can-"  
>"Would you please stop it? I don't want to talk about it."<p>

"But you have to-"

"Shut up! Seriously, I don't want to talk about it, if there was even something to talk about! I'm getting sick of this crap, I just want to go to my brothers!" she exclaimed, while jumping up and running away, into the direction of her bedroom.

Jane groaned. This was what he'd expected, yet he'd still started it.

He grabbed his phone, and dialed Van Pelt's number, maybe she knew what to do. She was still a girl at heart.

"Grace van Pelt," Van Pelt stated when she answered her phone.

"I need your help!" Jane immediately exclaimed.

"Oh, hey Jane, what's wrong?" Van Pelt asked, and Jane explained what happened. About the nightmare Teresa had had, and about their little fight.

"The thing right now is to let her think about things, alone. I assume you haven't left her alone in the past two days?" Van Pelt asked, and Jane blushed. It was true. Since the accident, he didn't want to leave her. What if something happened to her? She wasn't in the right state to manage with bad things herself, especially not because she was twelve. She had to take care of herself when she was officially twelve, he didn't want her to do that again. He was here for her, he could help her.

So why would he leave her alone?

"True."

"Leave her alone, even if it's just for an hour. Then you can talk to her. But you have to bring it subtly. Straight forward is never a good thing," Van Pelt said, and Jane sighed.

"Okay, thanks Grace," he said.

"Who's that?" a familiar voice at the other end of the conversation asked, and Jane smiled.

"Shh!" Van Pelt said.

"Why?" Rigsby asked, and Jane laughed.

"I'll leave you two alone, thanks for your help, Grace," Jane said, and hung up. He stared at the hall where the bedrooms were located.

He would give her one hour, then he would talk to her. It would give him enough time to think of what he would say.

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa ran into her room, and fell down on her bed.

Patrick had been a hundred percent right. But why would she admit it? Because honestly, it wasn't his business. She didn't even know who he was. Maybe he was just as bad as her dad. Maybe he would hit her as well if she didn't listen to him.

But she knew he wasn't like her dad. Her dad would rather kick her and her brothers out of the house, so that he could drink on his own again.

Patrick would let her stay here as long as she needed.

So apparently, she looked like 38. She is 38.

Then why did she have the feeling that she was twelve?

It just didn't make any sense.

She walked over to the mirror that was hanging on the wall.

She had to admit: the 38 year old version of her was not ugly.

She touched her face, to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Of course she wasn't dreaming. She just didn't know how to deal with things yet.

If only her mother was here. She could help her with everything. With her dad, her brothers, this whole "I'm-supposed-to-be-38-but-I-feel-like-twelve" thing, and Patrick. Patrick.

She didn't really know him, but she could see that he cared about her.

She got up, and walked out of her room, into the living room.

-YulianaHenderson-

Well, of course Jane didn't know how to react when Teresa suddenly walked into the room. He was still thinking of a good thing to start with, but he assumed he could stop thinking about that, now that Teresa seemed to be starting with it herself.

"I need to talk to you," she started, but didn't walk over to the couch where Jane was laying. Instead she chose to stay in the doorway, causing Jane to sit up. Smart girl.

He looked at her. He saw that her eyes were red. She'd presumably cried.

He nodded, sat up straight, and tapped the spot next to him on the couch.

She now walked over to him, and sat down on the couch, making sure to keep an appropriate distance between them.

She looked at him.

"About my dad... You were right," she said, and Jane nodded.

"He... hits me and my brothers. Ever since my mum died, he can't control himself anymore."

Jane nodded again.

"He's an alcoholic," she said, and once again, Jane just nodded.

"I know."

"How do you know?" she asked, and he smiled, awkwardly.

"Because, my dear Teresa, I'm a genius," he said, and she smiled.

She leant back into the couch, placing her head on the back of the couch. After staring at the ceiling for a while, which seemed utterly interesting all of a sudden, she looked at him again.

"Well, now you know. Does it make you happier?" she asked, and Jane frowned.

"What do you mean?"  
>"You've been dying to hear it. About my dad, and all. Does it feel different?" she asked, and Jane sighed.<p>

"Tell me about the older me," Teresa suddenly said, which startled Jane at first. But he regained his posture quickly, and looked her in the eyes.

"The older you?"

"Yeah, the older me. The one you seem to know," she said, and Jane swallowed.

"Yeah, I know her yes," he said.

"So?" Teresa asked, when Jane suddenly fell silent, because he didn't knew what to say.

"So what?"

"Come on, I want to know how I am like when I'm older!" Teresa exclaimed, and Jane was startled by her sudden outburst.

"Well, you're...," he started, but he didn't know how to proceed this. How do you tell somebody, who didn't even knew who she was, that you're in love with her?

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><p><strong>AN: And? AND? Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you! I live on reviews these days :D.**


	8. Chapter Seven

**A/N: I know, I KNOW! I know I'm bad at keeping promises! But it's only bad for me, for you it's a good thing, right?**

**The next chapter! This was really how I wanted this chapter/story to turn out, but... I don't think it sucks, so that's the most important thing.**

**...**

**Okay, I know your opinion is much more important, so PLEASE, REVIEW, so that you can let me know what you thought about this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: What's my name? Dominique. Does it even sound like Bruno? I don't think so. So I probably don't own The Mentalist.**

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><p>"You're... sweet," Jane said, his thoughts still working on full force. He didn't want to tell her. Not when she was like this.<p>

"Sweet?" she asked, disappointed at what he'd finally told her.

"Yep, sweet."

"That's all?""

"I think so."

"Seriously?"

"Yes," he stated, and she pouted.

"No," he said, when she saw that she was disappointed. It was seriously cute, how Teresa had pouted when he told her that she was 'sweet'.

"So?"

"There's more."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jane said, and looked into her eyes. Should he do it? Should he do what he'd wanted to do since he discovered his love for her?

She just stared at him, confusion on her face. What would he mean with that?

He slowly moved over to her, but she didn't freeze. She just continued looking at him, not sure what to say or do.

He cupped her face, stroking her cheek with is thumb. She shuddered, but kept still.

He slowly moved over to her, his face now inches apart from hers.

He then connected her lips with his lips, and he'd expected Teresa to move away from him. Though she was 38, she had a mind of a twelve year old, and kissing with a 41 year old man you didn't even know was... kind of strange.

But Teresa felt a connection with him. Like she knew him for ten years or something.

Teresa deepened the kiss, moving a little closer to him, and placing her hands in her neck, pulling him in closer. She didn't think a second about how bad this was. The strange butterflies in her stomach wouldn't let her.

Jane suddenly pulled away, and looked into her eyes.

Something snapped inside of him, and he shook his head.  
>"I'm sorry, Teresa," he whispered, and stood up. She grabbed his hand, but he took it back.<br>"I love you, that's what I wanted to show you. But... it feels... wrong, to do this when you're in this state," he said, and smiled a faint smile.

He walked out of the living room, presumably into his room, and left a shocked and bewildered Teresa behind.

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane hit the wall with his fist. Thank God the walls were strong, because he would've left a hole in the wall otherwise.

What had he done? This was not good.  
>He shouldn't have kissed her.<p>

He shouldn't even have considered the fact of telling her he loves her.

He hated himself right now.

How could he do this? He didn't even knew he was able to love again. After Angela and Charlotte, he had told himself that he would never come that close to somebody again, if he wanted to keep people in his life.

He was pulled out of his reverie by a small knock on the door.

He turned around, and opened the door.

Teresa was awkwardly standing there.

They didn't say anything, just looked at each other. You could almost taste the tension, or cut it into pieces and sharing it with Jane's neighbors.

It was Teresa who made the first move.

"Look, I don't really know who you are, and what I should think about you, but... but I can see that you care more about me than just good friends," she said, and Jane nodded.

She suddenly flung her arms around his waist, placing her face on his chest. Jane was startled, but soon swung his arms around her tiny body as well.

They stood like that for almost five minutes, both not wanting to let the other one go.

Jane stroked her hair. Teresa looked up at him.

"Do you love the older me?" she asked.  
>Jane smiled.<br>"No," he said, and she pouted again.

But he stroked her cheek.

"I just love _you_. You, as in Teresa Lisbon. Twelve or 38," he whispered, and kissed her forehead.

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa rolled over to her side.

She couldn't sleep, had too many thoughts that were bothering her. Distracting her from what she now really wanted: sleep.  
>Sleep could stop her from thinking about him. Patrick Jane.<p>

Why did she feel this attracted to him? She didn't even know him.

This body was bothering her, she really wanted to get her twelve year old body back. This version made her do things that were not normal.

She buried her face in her pillow, groaning into it.

Since when did her life become this complicated?

-YulianaHenderson-

"Teresa," Jane exclaimed, as he prepped a bowl of cereal for her.

He sat down, beginning with his own. He was hungry, they couldn't blame him.

But after five minutes, Teresa still wasn't here.

Jane frowned. He placed his spoon in his bowl, and walked over to her room.

"Teresa?" he asked, and knocked on the door.

No response.

He opened it, and much to his shock found Teresa's bed empty. He looked around. No Teresa to be seen.

He groaned.

No no no. She couldn't have left, right? He looked at her mirror, and saw it was open.

He cursed.

Now he had to look for her.

What if she did something seriously stupid? He would feel guilty for the rest of his life if that happened.

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa had left.

Just opened the window in her room, and had left the house, and Patrick.

She wasn't far away, only at the other end of the street, but she really needed some fresh air, so that she could think.

She didn't have _that_ much options, just two.

The first one was to go back inside, and apologize to Patrick. But she felt as if she wasn't ready for that yet.

The other option was to go somewhere else. Just for a short amount of time. Maybe around three hours?

But to where could she go? She only knew one place: the office building Patrick and her had been to a couple of days ago.

She grabbed her phone out of the jacket she'd put on quickly, and went to the app 'internet'. It was a miracle that she knew how the phone worked.

She searched for big, important buildings in the area, and finally found the right one: the CBI Head Quarters in Sacramento.

Underneath the picture of the building, she found a map that could lead her to it.

After a long walk she finally reached the building.

She looked at it. It was big, orange/reddish bricks covering the walls, the complete building consisting of big cubes that crossed each other. It looked... beautiful. But now familiar.

She approached it, but soon found guards standing there, checking badges. In the middle of the night, seriously?

She searched her pockets, but couldn't find one of these shiny badges other people seemed to have.

She still approached the bold man, though, deciding to give it a shot. If everybody knew her, why wouldn't this man know her?

The man smiled when he saw Teresa.

"Agent Lisbon! Back again?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"I just... I just wanted to look around for a while," she said, and he nodded in understanding.

"I understand. It must be hard to be sitting at home the entire day, right?" he asked, and she just nodded.

"I forgot my badge," she looked at the badge he was wearing on his vest, "Jim."

"It's okay, Miss Lisbon, you can come in," he said, stepping aside to let her in.

She nodded at him, and walked past the man.

She sighed out of relief.

Now, she just had to find the way to that big open space again.

As she rode the elevator, déjà vu hit her. But she was now alone, the whole building was deserted. Not strange, considering what time it was.

She'd pushed a random button on the wall, deciding '3' was her lucky number. It was though, because the doors opened, and as she walked into the space there, she recognized it. It would be funny though, if everything in this building looked like each other.

She walked into the bullpen, and looked around.  
>In the left corner was a worn-out leather couch showing off. She wondered whose it was.<p>

She saw several computers, the one closest to the elevators having a few flowers next to it. Must be from that Grace woman.

She walked further more into the bullpen, and saw something that hit her like a brick wall.

On the doors to a secluded office was her name. Teresa Lisbon, Senior Agent.

She ran over to it, and entered the room.

She looked around.

Was this her office? Why would she have her own office.

Senior Agent, what did that even mean? She walked over to the desk, sitting on the big, comfy looking chair. She saw a few pictures of dogs standing on the desk, but that was about it.

She opened the top drawer. Nothing special.

The second drawer?

And there she found something. It could've been something usual for any other person, but this was something that broke her heart.

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><p><strong>AN: Oee, a cliffhanger! I'm a bad person, I know :D.**

**Let me know what you think of this one in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	9. Chapter Eight

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing and alerting and all. Love you all so much!**

**And thanks for still having faith in me! Can't even begin to describe in words how much you guys mean to me!**

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><p>What was it doing here?<br>She picked it up, feeling tears boiling up in her eyes.

She looked at it.

A bottle of vodka, almost empty. A used glass next to it.

She placed it on her desk.

Was she an alcoholic? Just like her dad?

But underneath the bottle was something that she didn't quite understand.

It was a picture, clearly drawn by a child, A man was hanging from the stairs, a rope strangling him.

More things she didn't get. What was this all?

She collapsed, but hit the chair with her head, and passed out.

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane dialed Teresa's number for the thousandth time, but he got no response.

Okay, so he was seriously panicking right now. His breath was accelerating, tears stinging in his eyes. If something bad happened to Teresa, he would never forgive himself. He would be the cause of that all.

Just one time. He dialed it again, and much to his surprise didn't immediately got voicemail.

"Teresa," she stated, and Jane sighed out of relief.

Thank God, at least she wasn't dead.

"Hello?" she asked, when she got no response.

"Teresa, where are you?" Jane asked.

"I... I think... I...," she whispered, followed by a series of sobs.

"Oh no... Don't cry, Teresa, please," Jane all but begged. It killed him, Teresa crying and him not being able to hold her in his arms, to make her stop crying.

"Are you in your office?" Jane asked, seeming that was the only place she could be at this time. Every other place was closed right now.

"Yes...," she whispered.

"Stay there, I'll come and get you. Don't panic," he said, and hung up. He didn't even bother with putting on a jacket when he left the house. All that mattered was that he got to Lisbon.

-YulianaHenderson-

When Jane'd entered the bullpen, he immediately saw that Lisbon's office door was open. But he didn't see her. Oh God, maybe she was gone already.

He entered her office, and saw Teresa laying on the ground behind her desk.

He approached her, and knelt down beside her.

She looked at him. He smiled faintly.

"What happened?"

Teresa slowly sat up straight, Jane helped her.

She pointed at the bottle on her desk.

"I found that. But I don't know why it's here," she said.

Jane looked at it as well. He couldn't recall one moment where Lisbon had actually drunk a lot of alcohol. Just bits, at some parties, but she seemed to know to where she could go, concerning alcohol. Jane'd always admired that.

It wasn't strange though, considering that her dad was a heavy drinker as well, and she wouldn't want to become like him.

"I don't know either. But I never saw you drinking it, so don't worry," he said. He stood up, grabbed the bottle and placed it in the open drawer.

There he saw a picture. Well, more of like a drawing. From a child's hand, obviously.

He decided to let it rest. Teresa already had a hard time processing the bottle of vodka. Maybe she'd already seen the drawing, but that was for later care.

She looked at him, still sitting on the ground.

"How did you even end up on the floor?" he asked. She sighed.

"I collapsed when I saw the bottle, and hit the chair with my head," she explained.

"But this is such a soft chair, how is that even possible?" he teased, and she hit his leg.

She wiped at her eyes, removing the last bit of tears. He reached out his hand, and helped her up.

When she was on her feet again, her body close to his, she swallowed.

"About our kiss..."

"I know. I'll promise that I'll never do it again, okay?" Jane asked, but Teresa shook her head.

"That's not it. Just... I'm certain that I'll, as in the one I'm supposed to be, come back eventually. Save all the kisses you've got for that moment, okay?" she asked, and he hesitated a bit. But he still nodded yes.

He grabbed her hands again, pulling her in closer and hugged her.

"Thank you, Patrick," she whispered in his chest, "for saving me."

He kissed the top of her head.

"It's the least I can do, Teresa."

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa was very tired. Which was quite understandable, since she hadn't slept well the last couple of nights.

Jane looked in the rear-view mirror, and saw that Teresa was fast asleep.

He smiled.

She was so beautiful when she was asleep. No: She was always beautiful, not only when she was sleeping.

He parked his car in front of his house.

What now?

Great, he had to carry Teresa inside, since he didn't want to wake her.

This would be like one of these awesome moments in your childhood, where you fell asleep on the couch and magically was in your bed when you awoke.

He stepped out of his car, opened the car door, and lifted Teresa up. He groaned. But not because she was heavy, no, the complete opposite.

Because it was still strange for him to be taking care of his tough female boss. The older Teresa Lisbon would never, EVER let Patrick Jane carry her. Not even if they gave her a big sum of money.

Never.

And now, he was 'just' carrying her inside. Not that she could protest though.

He entered the house, and went straight into her room.

But when he placed her on her bed, she awoke.

She quickly flung her arms around his neck, not wanting to let him go. He tried to sit her down, but she wouldn't let him.

He sighed, and walked into his room. He placed her on the bed, but fell down with her because she still didn't want to let him go.

Instead of feeling awkward because he was laying on top of her, she chuckled.

He smiled.

"What's so funny?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know. This," she said, motioning to the fact he laid on top of her. He smiled, and laid down next to her.

She turned on her side, to look at him.

"So... I'm just sweet?" she asked, and he rolled his eyes.

"Are we really going to bring up this again?"

She nodded, an innocent smile on her lips.

He sighed.

"Okay. Well, you're harsh sometimes, throwing orders into the space like you're some kind of dictator. You always follow the rules strictly, never let me do anything I want, which is within your right, of course, since you're my boss, but it annoys the crap outta me at moments," Jane explained.

He saw that Teresa's smile disappeared when he spoke.

"So... I'm mean?" she asked. She turned on her back and began staring at the ceiling.

"No, you're not. You're actually a great boss and team leader. You never fail to rescue me whenever I get in trouble. And beside from that, you're my buddy, my best friend. I've been through a lot, and you've always been by my side when I needed it, even when I didn't want it," he said. He looked at her, and saw she was looking at him in confusion.

"What have you been through?"

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><p><strong>AN: Another cliffhanger! I'm evil, I know :D.**

**Will Jane tell her what he's been through, or will he wait as long as possible? Who knows?  
>Well, I do, but yeah, it's a rhetorical question :D.<strong>

**Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	10. Chapter Nine

**A/N: Sorry I kept you hanging on that cliff for so long, but I'm back! And with a new chapter I wrote in about 1,5 hours! Forgive me if it's not what you wanted to happen, but I just wanted to break that line of 'I can only write stories that are 8 chapters long'. I seriously hated that my stories were that short. So, Chapter 9 it is :D.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

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><p>"What have you been through?" Teresa asked.<p>

Jane sighed, aware of what he'd just brought up.

He shook his head.

"A lot of bad things."

"Yeah, but what?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he said, and rolled onto his side, facing her with his back.

It didn't take long to feel one of Teresa's small hands on his arm, tugging gently to get him on his back again. He complied.

He looked at her.

"Tell me, you can trust me," Teresa whispered. Jane swallowed.

"Well... I once... Had a wife and child. But because... I acted recklessly, they are now dead. They were murdered," he said, and heard Teresa gasp.

"Oh my... I'm sorry, Patrick," she said, and stroked his cheeks softly.

"It doesn't matter, you couldn't know," he said. She nodded.

"At moments like these, I want that I knew who I am, and who you are. That I was not twelve but 38," she whispered.

Jane understood what she was saying: she felt lonely. He would feel the same if he didn't knew who he was supposed to be, or how he was supposed to feel.

Jane rolled on his side.

"Did you have any plans tomorrow?" he asked, hitting himself internally for asking. Of course she didn't have anything to do, she was on sick leave, and since he had to go to work...

She shook her head.  
>"No."<p>

"Then, would you like to join me to the zoo tomorrow?"

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa stood in her bedroom, and looked at the made-shift wardrobe in the corner of the room. It was actually just a bench with clothes draped over it, but it was enough for her. As long as she had a few of her own clothes, well, something like that, she was happy.

She just couldn't decide which clothes to wear. That white blouse, with the little blue flowers on it? Or the dress that came to just above her knees? She felt really great in that one, but she thought that it might look strange on her, considering she was 38 now, not twelve.

Why was she even worrying about what to wear? It was just Patrick she was going to hang out with, for God's sake. Nothing to worry about, right?

"Teresa, are you almost ready?" Jane suddenly asked, knocking on the door.

She startled, and turned around. She quickly decided to just wear a plain white T-shirt and jeans.

She opened the door when she was dressed, and saw Jane shortly scanning her from head to toe, before looking in her eyes.

"What are you looking at?" she asked, hitting his arm.

She looked at him. She had to admit, in the few days she'd spent with him now, she was getting used to see him in that usual three-piece-suit of him. She'd always thought that men who wore expensive suits like that were mean and cold-hearted, but Jane wasn't.

So seeing him in just a simply shirt as well, a dark jeans covering his legs, surprised her. She nodded in approval.

"Much better," she said, and he frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked. She smiled.

"That suit you kept wearing was annoying me," she simply said, and walked past him. He sighed, and rolled his eyes. _She's just twelve, Patrick Jane, let it go._

She walked away, in a childish way, almost to say: _Got you!_

They got into the car, and Jane shot her a death glare. She just raised her hands in defense, and he smiled.

The ride to the zoo was quiet. Neither of them wanted to say anything, fancying the sweet silence there was. They both could think about things this way, and that was what they both wanted.

Jane thought about his feelings. He knew for sure that he loved Lisbon, but was he in love with her? He still wasn't quite sure of that yet, but if it was true, he wouldn't mind it. Lisbon living with him now was something he was already getting used to, and it took great effort sometimes to remind himself that it was necessary because she wasn't mentally healthy. But on some moments he imagined that they lived together, and these moments made him feel great.

Teresa just basically tried to remember anything from before the accident. Maybe she could remember some moments, like why the hell she was there in the first place. She was a team leader, obviously, but from what? And what were her tasks if she had to go to work? She knew that she was on that sick leave until the 'real her' got back. But who was the real her?

She was the center of Jane's fantasies, that's for sure. But why?

She looked at him, and saw he was in deep thoughts. She just hoped he would still watch the upcoming traffic, she didn't entirely feel like ending up folded around the next silver Peugeot they saw.

She gently pinched his arm, which dragged him out of his thoughts. He looked at her, and immediately looked at the road when he saw she was pointing outside.

"Sorry, I was thinking," he said with a smile. He turned right on the next exit point, and motioned to the sign next to the road.

"We're here already," he laughed, and she laughed as well.

"Well, that was sure a long drive," she said, when she saw the sign he was pointing at: The Sacramento Zoo.

Of course. Jane wouldn't want to go far while Teresa was in this state. This way he could still call the team when something happened, and they could be here in minutes.

Jane parked the car, his car, which Teresa happened to like a little bit too much, and stepped out of it. Like the gentleman he was, he immediately ran over to the other side and opened the door for her. She blushed, and hit his shoulder gently.

After Jane'd paid for two tickets, which was very awkward because he had to buy two tickets for two adults, instead of one adult and one youngster, the two of them entered the zoo and were immediately greeted by the gift store.

They just stood there, looking at it, and Jane told her a story about how smart it was of them to place the gift store there, instead of at the back of the zoo. Teresa'd rolled her eyes at it, but enjoyed his smart talk.

Teresa had, after another fifteen minutes of his lecture that had now processed into him talking about the arrangement of the entire zoo, according to the map, and how they could expand it without losing the essence of the child-friendly and small zoo-like identity, pulled him into the zoo, in the direction of the lemurs. She always loved lemurs, they were sweet and cute, and sometimes acted a bit strange even.

After walking around the zoo for three times, they sat down on a bench, enjoying everything that happened around them. Some moments Jane pointed at people, telling about their pasts or about who they were in person.

Like for example little kids who were running around, being followed by their panicking parents, or little kids being followed by grandparents, who knew that there was no way in calming the kids down in a freaking zoo.

Or younger pairs, who didn't even look at the animals, only at each other. It was kind of awkward, sometimes you saw a silly in love nerdy girl with the popular football player from school, and you could just taste the awkwardness. He wasn't interested in her one bit, while the poor girl probably had a secret altar in her room, with his picture on it, surrounded by lots and lots of rose petals, and candles.

Suddenly, Jane grabbed her hands, and pulled her up on her feet.

She was confused, but complied.

She let him lead her to the beginning of the zoo, into the gift shop.

"Close your eyes," he said, and she did so, a wide grin on her face.

He returned a few minutes later, and tapped her arm slightly. She opened her eyes, and was pleasantly surprised when she saw what Jane'd bought her.

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><p><strong>AN: What do you think? What would Jane buy Lisbon? Something sweet? Or something with a less innocent tone? No, just kidding, it will probably just be something sweet, but I'm addicted to asking questions to nobody in particular :D.**

**Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	11. Chapter Ten

**A/N: A MAJOR thanks to everybody that has reviewed this story. I just... I can't... I can't begin to describe how much you all mean to me!**

**I so very much LOVED writing this chapter :D. It's both a bit about Lisbon's past, but also about Jane's past, and- Just read it, for God's sake :D. And ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist! Too bad, right? It would be pretty cool if I did, though :D. I get to be around Robin and Simon the entire day. HEAVEN!**

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><p>A big smile appeared on Teresa's face.<p>

"For you," he said, and gave it to her.

Teresa examined the present. It was a stuffed animal of a lemur, not too big, just big enough. A cute pink ribbon was tied around its neck.

She looked at him.

He smiled back.

"Do you like it?" he asked. She sighed.

"I don't know...," she said, seriously. He pouted.

But Teresa hugged him, swinging her arms around his neck, suffocating the animal in Jane's back.

Jane happily complied, placing his hands on the small of her back.

"I love it, thank you," she whispered in his ear. She pulled away, and placed a small kiss on Jane's cheek. He smiled.

"Care for another round?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

She nodded, and ran away, pulling him out of the shop.

While still laughing they arrived at the lemurs.  
>They stared at them, their hands still intertwined.<p>

"What is it that you like about them?" he asked, and she shrugged.

"I don't know. I just love to see them running around. And they are always together, in a group. That's just sweet," she explained.

He nodded in understanding. He stared at the lemurs again, and suddenly began talking.

"I've had this as well. What you're having now. I almost drowned in a lake, and I got back to the man I was before my family died. For me, it was weird, but for you it was a total nightmare. I misbehaved, and you eventually thought of something to get my mind back to your consultant, and not the con man I used to be. You helped me," he said, and at the end of his monologue, he looked at Teresa.

An eyebrow was raised.

"What was that?" she asked. He turned around to face her.

"My family was killed by a serial killer named Red John. His trademark is a bloody smiley from the blood of his victims on the wall. The smiley he made from my family is still in that house. You brought me there, and it suddenly struck to me who I was," he explained.

"Okay... Why are you telling me this?" she asked, not sure of the importance of this information.

"Yesterday you asked me what you were like," he said.

She sighed.

"Do you know my dad?" she asked, and he frowned.

Should he tell her?

"No, I don't."

"You should meet him, you can show him how people are supposed to be behaving," she said, proudly.

He closed his eyes.

"I don't know your dad, Teresa, because he died when you were fourteen," he said, and Teresa's eyes widened.

"Come again?"

"You've seen that picture in your drawer? Your little brother Tommy drew that right after you two saw that he killed himself," Jane said. Teresa looked as if she was on the edge of collapsing, and he took her to the nearest bench.

Teresa swung her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Jane placed his hands on her back, rubbing soothing circles to calm her down. He saw people looking at them. He couldn't care less. It wasn't that busy in this section of the zoo, so that was a relief, but he still hated to have this conversation with Teresa in here. But he knew it was his own fault: he'd started it.

She started to cry, moistening his shirt.

After a few minutes she suddenly pulled away when something struck to her.

"Wait a minute! My mum's dead, and my dad is as well, apparently. What about me and my brothers?" she asked, brushing the tears away from her eyes.

"You took care of your little brothers," he simply said, and she frowned.

"Is that even possible?"

"Officially? No. But you did it. I don't how, because you didn't tell me yet, but I'm sure it was hard," he said.

Teresa looked at the animal.

"I want to go home," she whispered, and Jane nodded. He grabbed her hand, and pulled her up on her feet again.

At the exit, people frowned when they saw the two. When they entered the zoo, they were all happy and stuff, joking around and touching each other, and now, the woman looked like she could suffer from a mental breakdown any moment, and the guy just followed her, his left hand on the small of her back.

When they got into the car, Teresa just sat there, looking outside, dried tears still on her cheeks.

Jane swallowed. It was a heartbreaking sight. He wished that there was anything he could do, but he knew there wasn't. She had to process this all, and think about it, before he started to do anything with it.

Maybe he could tell something that wasn't really emotional, something funny.

"You know, me driving the car is actually quite rare, you know that?"

Teresa turned around to look at him.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"You never let me drive, you're way too scared that you might die," he said, looking at the traffic and making sure not to drive that fast.

He heard a small chuckle escaping Teresa's mouth, and he smiled.

At least he could make her laugh again.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Do you want to eat something?" Jane asked, while sitting Teresa down at the dining table.

They hadn't eaten anything yet in the zoo. They were about to eat something, when he'd started their little chat. He wasn't that hungry, but he didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night, feeling his stomach turning and rummaging because of the hunger he was feeling. So macaroni and cheese it was.

She shook her head.

He sighed.

She was back to the Teresa she was when all this happened: shy, not wanting to look him in the eye, not even wanting to look around. And silent. Completely silent. Which killed him, really.

"Teresa, you have to eat something," he said. She again just shook her head violently, and grabbed a tighter hold on the stuffed animal once again.

Jane looked at it, regretting he'd bought it for her.

No, that was a lie. He didn't regret it one bit. All that money that kept piling up on his back account annoyed him sometimes, keeping in mind that he had a boring life in which he didn't need to pay that much money. All he did was laying on his couch all day, irritating his co-workers and breaking every rule there was in Lisbon's unofficial, but sometimes official, book of rules. Also, he insulted the grieving families of their victims, took the pleasure out of embarrassing their suspects, not to mention hypnotizing them and always succeeded in getting in trouble by their supervisors, who always seemed to accept what he did, because he never really got a punishment for what he did. Except with Lisbon, of course.

He smiled a bit. Come to think of it, his life wasn't really _that_ boring.

He suddenly felt a hand on his hand, and looked up, quite startled.

A sad Teresa was looking at him.

"Tell me more about your daughter," she whispered. Jane frowned, but accepted this little question she was asking him.

He turned to look at her fully, and cleared his throat.

"Charlotte was six when she was killed. She was a very happy girl, always proud of her own capabilities, and was always eager to show me what she'd learned at day-care, or at school. She played the piano – my wife, Angela, taught her that – and one time she played Fur Elise. It was really beautiful. She kept smiling while touching the keys with her small hands, sounds escaping that formed her favorite song.

And I can still remember this moment where I asked her what hobby she wanted – except for playing the piano, of course – and she didn't know what to choose. That night she entered our bedroom, and whispered in my ear that she wanted to be an actress. That way she could be with Daniel Radcliffe, she thought. She was really in love with him, everything was basically Daniel, Daniel, Daniel...," Jane said, all the while trying his hardest to bite back the tears. When he started to think about Charlotte, he always had a hard time to keep smiling. Of course, she'd been a great and lovely girl, he couldn't say anything different than that. But the fact that such a sweet and happy girl had never had the chance to really taste life, to get to know what living was, that was what killed him. At the end of the day, she was still his daughter, and as a father you wanted the best for your little girl, right?

Teresa saw though, that he was getting emotional. She gently rubbed his hand, her tiny hands on his larger one. She passed him her stuffed animal, and Jane smiled through burning tears in his eyes. He took it, looking at the animal.

He looked at Teresa after that, and saw that she, too, was almost crying. It had been the other way around: she'd lost her dad, instead of her dad losing her. He wasn't sure what was tougher, a parent losing his child or a child losing its parents. He assumed the latter one: he could take care of his own.

She then stood up, and walked over to him. She sat down on his lap, her legs hanging down at his right side, and swung her arms around him.

Jane buried his face in the crook of her neck, and they both rubbed soothing circles on each other's back, and they let the tears knocking on the gateway called their eyes flow.

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><p><strong>AN: Wow, that's kinda dramatic :D. But sweet dramatic, right? I just HOPE it's sweet dramatic :D. It was almost a bit angst, don't you think? But I'm terrible at writing angst, so I don't think this is angst, though.**

**Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	12. Chapter Eleven

**A/N: Thanks again for the MAJOR support on the last chapter! I think I lost a lot of readers on the road to this chapter, and further chapters, but I don't care, I still have you :D.**

**This chapter is the result of a boring day at school :D. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: The Mentalist isn't mine.**

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><p>Teresa ran her hands through Jane's curls.<p>

They were already slightly disheveled because of the wind outside.

After a lot of minutes, Jane pulled away just enough to look at her.

He smiled through all the tears that were now fully streaming down his cheeks. He brushed a hand past her cheeks, wiping away her tears.

He then gently kissed her nose, a faint giggle escaping from Teresa.

He contently sighed.

"In the past eight years of working with you, I only cried once. You do awful things to me right now, Tess," Jane whispered. Teresa smiled.

"Crying is good sometimes. Or else you might save all your anger, and then it's just going to explode and you might end up killing somebody," she said.

Reality hit him like a brick wall as he realized what she was saying – and she didn't know it, of course – and he began crying again.

Teresa cupped his face, but placed it on her shoulder, repeating what she'd done a few moments ago. Only this time, it took them a lot longer to gather themselves again.

Jane was happy, more or less, because instead of being sad on his own, he had Lisbon to cry with now. Being in her arms as all the hate and frustration of the past few years flew over him felt really good.

When he found the power again to at least breathe on his own, he stood up, lifting Teresa up bride-like, her legs in his right arms and her upper body in his left, Teresa's arm tightly around his neck.

He kissed her temple, and whispered, "Do you want to sleep in your own room, or mine?"

"Your bed," she replied.

Jane walked over to his room, placing Teresa on his bed. This time, she let him go, and with the last coherent thought he had that day, he walked into her bedroom and grabbed her nightgown.

When he returned to his room, he saw that Teresa was almost already asleep.

He hated to do it, but he gently shook her arm, causing her to moan, like only a teenager does when they have to stand up, but don't want it.

"Teresa, I'm sorry, but you need to wear your nightgown. Sleeping in your clothes will make sleeping harder," he whispered. Teresa looked at him, and groaned again.

She sat up straight, and moved to pull her shirt over her head. Jane's eyes widened at her sudden movement, and wanted to turn around to give her some privacy, when she shook her head.

"It's okay," she whispered. Jane already regretted ordering her to sleep in her nightgown.

Jane tried to keep his eyes at hers when she pulled her shirt over her head, but failed: he was still a man, for God's sake.

He looked at her breasts. Perfectly in proportion to the rest of her body. A beautiful white lace bra was holding them in place.

Jane swallowed, and eventually did turn around, if only to control himself.

He stood up, and walked into the bathroom linked to his bedroom. He changed into his pajamas, and sat down on the edge of the bathtub, and after a few minutes re-entered the bedroom again. He saw that Teresa was laying under the covers already, again almost asleep.

He moved under the covers, turning to look at her. She opened her eyes, and smiled at him.

"Well, Patrick, this was sure an interesting day," she said, and he nodded.

He cupped her face with his hands, and kissed her, first a tender one on her cheek, one on her forehead, one on her nose, and then one on her lips. Just a small one, not to transcribe any wrong feelings on her.

But she, just like the previous time, moved closer, deepening the kiss. He immediately pulled away.

"Tess...," he whispered, and she pulled away as well, and nodded.

"I get it," she said, and turned around, looking at the wall next to the bed, ignoring him. Jane sighed.

He moved over to her, and swung his arms around her, placing both his hands on her stomach and pulling her closer. He kissed her temple a few times, before she turned around in his arms, immediately placing her face in the crook of his neck.

"Tess, you know I love you, but I... I... It's difficult for me, alright?" he asked after a while, and looked down at Teresa, but saw she was already asleep.

He sighed, and stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head every once in a while. After a lot and long minutes, he fell asleep as well.

"_Daddy? Daddy! Come here, I wanna show you something!" Charlotte exclaimed, as Jane walked into the house. He smiled, and put his car keys on the counter, before following the sound of her voice into the playroom._

_He was immediately greeted by a smiling Charlotte, dressed in a pink princess-like dress, a tiara on the top of her head, her blonde curls almost covering it so it was almost not seen._

_She was playing with her dolls – one was just performing a ballet routine – and she didn't saw him entering her room._

_He cleared his throat, and she immediately turned around and looked at him._

"_Look!" she exclaimed, pointing at something that was laying on her bed. She jumped up and ran over to it, and he followed her._

"_I made a drawing of you and me!" she said, and pointed at it again. Jane looked a bit better at it, and smiled._

_It was a drawing of her, in his and Angela's bed, and him and Angela. Charlotte was laying in Jane's arms, and he was kissing the top of her head._

_Or at least, that's what he thought it was. He wasn't entirely sure of it, Charlotte's drawing skills were on the level of a... yeah, well, a five-year-old._

_He looked at her, and she had that youthful expression in her face that he really loved._

He awoke, Teresa still in his arms, and felt the sad feeling was... gone. He should've been sad about this dream, but really... for once, he had the feeling that Angela and Charlotte were his past, and that it was done. And he was certain of it. He wouldn't get them back by keeping sad his entire life.

Yes, Charlotte still never got the chance to live properly, and he had never had the chance to show Angela and Charlotte how much he loved them.

So his only choice was to show it to the only woman he loved now, who was still alive. Still, after all these years. And was now, all alive, in his arms.

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><p><strong>AN: Well, at least we got that part out of the way :D. Jane's finally moved on, even if it's just a bit :D. I really needed to do that, I don't know, I hate to leave Jane in such a misery :D. A few chapters to go, maybe we then finally get the 'real' Lisbon back :D. I don't know as well, we'll only see what my creative brain and fingers will come up with this time :D.**

**Please, leave me a REVIEW, thank you!**


	13. Chapter Twelve

**A/N: Is this story bad? Because there was a time where I got around 6 reviews for each chapter, and now it's cut down to only 2 or something... Is there something wrong?**

**This chapter is basically, like the previous chapters, fucked up fluff :D. I don't know, I just wanted to write this, it made me all happy inside :D.**

**Disclaimer: The Mentalist isn't mine.**

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><p>Jane opened his eyes. He awoke because he felt a tickling feeling on his stomach.<p>

And when he did, he looked straight into the eyes of Teresa.

She was smiling at him, and he smiled back.

He immediately sat up, and swung his arms around her neck.

She startled, but complied. They laid down again, still holding each other. Teresa placed her head on his chest, and his hands were around her waist. Just like a couple of some sort, though they weren't a couple, of course.

"I thought about what to do today. What about going to the graveyards where my family is buried? I know it's not a happy thing to do, but I believe it will be-"

"It's great. I really want that," she whispered, interrupting him. She pulled away, planted a small kiss on his cheek and walked into her room.

He looked after her with his eyes, and then got up to get changed as well.

He didn't know why this exact thought has came to his mind, but he was sure it was something that would help them both. Just because he had the feeling that he could move on, and that Teresa could help him with that. She wouldn't remember it afterwards, but he still felt like taking Teresa to that exact place.

-YulianaHenderson-

"So, here they are buried?" Teresa asked, as she and Jane were standing in front of the headstone of Angela and Charlotte. Back in the days, Jane'd thought that them sharing one would be the best, for both them and him. They had always loved each other very much, and wanted to be together for ever. And now, because of this, they were. He really loved that thought, of them being together.

He nodded, not looking away from it.

She grabbed his arm, and placed her head against it – she was too short to place it on his shoulder.

They both didn't know anything to say. Jane because he was in deep thoughts, and Teresa because she was afraid to hurt him.

The last night had been sweet and all, but she felt terrible when she woke up. Her throat, for some reason, hurt, and her eyes did as well.

And she felt guilty, for making Jane cry. Of course, she wasn't entirely the cause for his outburst, but she still was there. She experienced the worst of Jane, and she felt guilty. Because she couldn't give him anything back, she didn't knew what because she wasn't herself.

She grabbed his hand, and squeezed it gently. She heard him smile.

When she looked up, she saw that tears were again forming in his eyes. She reached up, and brushed them away when they were falling. She then reached out and swung her arms around his neck, though she almost had to stand on her toes to do that.

And they stood there, hugging each other, for almost an hour. It wasn't like they weren't used to it, they did it an awful lot the past days.

Finally, she pulled away, opened the bag she was carrying, and grabbed the stuffed animal she got from Jane yesterday out of it. She walked over to the tombstone, and placed it on the grass in front of it. She pulled back and looked at it, before returning to Jane's side, grabbing his hands again.

He placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"For Charlotte," she said, and Jane smiled.

"I love you, Teresa," he whispered, and she smiled as well.

"I know," she said, and he laughed.

"Since when are you so secure about yourself?" he asked, and she frowned, but only teasingly.

"Because you keep saying that you love me. Works for girls," she said, and he laughed again.

"I just can't stop saying that I love you, you're just simply amazing," he said.

She almost jumped up, placing a kiss on his cheek, and ran away. He ran after her.

It started to rain, but they didn't care. They just ran around, teasing each other.

One moment, Jane fell over – his shoes weren't exactly made for running – and ended up face-first in the mud. Teresa turned around, first shocked, but when she saw he was still breathing, she just stood there, laughing at him.

He looked up at her.

"Do you find this funny?" he asked, as he sat up, wiping at his face to remove the mud.

She nodded enthusiastically. He just rolled his eyes, and stood up. He straightened his clothes, already knowing that the stains that would form in this suit would never come off again.

He sighed, and took her hand in his.

"Let's go home, before I'm catching a cold or something," he said, and she nodded. She was still smiling like an idiot, mostly because the dirt on him didn't go away and she just was really bad at keeping a straight face in moments like these.

"I love walking in the rain like this," Teresa said.

"Why?"

"Because I can forget everything and just think about how the rain makes me wet," she said, and Jane looked at her, an eyebrow raised.

"How do you mean?"

"Oh, because it's not funny to take care of my brothers all the time. My mum always did that, I don't know how to be a mother," she said, and he nodded.

Poor girl, her complete childhood must've been screwed up because of this one car accident of her mother. He was sure she didn't have the time to develop feelings she was supposed to develop in her puberty.

Explains why she became the woman he knew. She didn't knew how to handle a lot of things, but always covered that up by saying it was his fault, or someone else's. Or saying that he was socially incompetent.

"I'm sure you did a great job," he said, grabbing a better hold of her hand, just to make sure she didn't feel alone.

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><p><strong>AN: What do you think? Let me know in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**A/N: Love love LOVED the latest episode! (4x21)  
><strong>**Not much Jisbon, but there was a bit of Chummer, and I love Chummer as well :D.  
>If you haven't seen it, go and watch it! :D<strong>

**Thanks again for the massive support on the last chapter :D. I was down, but now I'm not again, because of you! Thanks!**

**I had a bit of a writer's block for this chapter. I've made a complete planning on when what was going to happen, and according to that planning, Lisbon would have her memory back in... let's say... chapter 25? But I fast forwarded it a bit, and now, she will get her memory back pretty soon!**

**Disclaimer: The Mentalist isn't mine.**

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><p>A phone rang.<p>

Teresa moaned.

She hit Jane's arm, and that caused a groan from him as well.

"What?" he snapped, and she moved onto her side to face him.

He looked at her.

"What's that annoying sound?" he asked, and she chuckled.

"That's called a phone. You don't know what that means? There's a dictionary in the-"

Teresa silenced him by hugging him. He laughed, and placed his hands on her lower back, pulling her in closer. It was killing him, waiting for his Lisbon to come back again, and not being able to kiss her while his feelings for her were ready to explode outside his body. Well, this sure had a positive effect on him: at least he know knew that he was in love with Lisbon. He just wanted to find it out in a different way.

The phone kept on ringing.

She jumped up, and grabbed the phone.  
>"Teresa!" she exclaimed when she answered it.<p>

"Lisbon, Wainwright here. Do you see any chance at stopping by at the office today? I need to speak with you and Jane," he said, and she just looked at Jane.

"Great. We will see you there," Teresa said, and hung up.

"It was that Wainwright guy. He wants to see us in the office?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Wainwright guy?" he asked, innocently, which earned him a smack on his arm. Great, another bruise.

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa looked at the inside of the elevator. It looked really lush, gold covering the walls and all.

She was still holding Jane's hand. She found that she couldn't do anything without that. Ever since that night she always wanted to touch him. Make sure he was still there, and that she wasn't alone. And that he wasn't alone as well. Because she knew that he'd been alone for a long time. Even when he started working with her. From what she'd heard, she wasn't that much of a company for him.

She looked up at him, and he gave a gentle squeeze to her hand.

He could feel she was nervous, but she wasn't sure for what, exactly. Maybe it was just because the last time she was there, she ended up on the floor, calling Jane for help.

When they came out of the elevator, Wainwright was already waiting for them.

"Lisbon! Great to see you again!" he said, while shaking her hand. She just awkwardly shook it back.

"And it's great to see you again too," she replied, and he smiled.

"Let's go to my office now, okay?" he asked, and Jane and Teresa nodded.

They went to his office, and sat down.

Teresa wanted to keep holding his hand, but he brushed her away, smiling faintly at her.

This only added up to her stress. She now sat in the chair across from Wainwright's desk, and though she didn't know what for, she was afraid it wasn't something good.

"I actually only brought you here to see how you two were doing. We haven't heard anything from you in the past three days, I was already afraid something bad had happened to you. It seems like you didn't have any problems at living with each other?" Wainwright asked, and Teresa saw from the corners of her eyes that Jane was blushing.

Wainwright just smiled at this.

"Is there any intelligibility about how long it's going to take until Lisbon comes back?" Wainwright asked, his question mainly aimed at Jane.

He shrugged.

"The psychiatrist said that it could last around two weeks. But maybe something can trigger it before these weeks. That scares me," Jane said, and looked at Teresa.

She was just sitting there. She knew nothing to say.

"Okay," Wainwright said. He was going to say something, when his phone rang, and he excused the two.

They nodded, and left his office to give him some privacy.

Teresa immediately looked at her office, of which confines were already visible. Jane saw, and grabbed her hand. He pulled her into the direction of her office, and she followed.

They waved at the team, but didn't try to go and talk to them. There were more things to do.

They entered her office, and stood there, looking around.

Teresa walked around, touching her desk, looking at the pictures on it. She sat down on the chair, and turned around a few times.

Jane looked at her, smiling. She looked cute like this.

She then suddenly opened the second drawer of her desk, and Jane wanted to stop her, but he was too late.

She grabbed the drawing out of it, and looked at it. He saw tears already stinging in her eyes, and he didn't knew what to do now.

He walked towards her, and knelt down beside her.

Her head was almost placed on her desk, and he could see her sobbing.

"Tess, what's wrong?" he asked, though of course he had strong suspicions on what was wrong.

"I can remember. Patrick, I remember," Teresa whispered. He placed his hand over hers.

"What exactly do you remember?" Jane asked. Teresa looked at him, and took a deep breath.

"My dad, hanging from the stairs because it was too much for him. The funeral. Tommy almost getting a nervous breakdown because of what he saw that one day."

"What did _you_ see?"

"The same Tommy did. And James. And Michael."

"You saw him after he hung himself?"

Teresa nodded. Jane hugged her again. It was the only thing he could do, he thought. He wasn't entirely sure of what more she could remember, and he didn't really want to force it.

"I really want to remember everything right now," she whispered in his ear. He nodded.

"I can think of something. In fact, I already have a plan," he said, and jumped up.

He'd changed his mind. He would make her remember everything. He at first thought that that would be selfish, but since she asked it herself, he wouldn't feel really guilty.

And he knew exactly how he would make her remember.

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><p><strong>AN: What do you think? What would Jane do to make her remember again? I'm sure a lot of you already have strong suspicions on what he can do :D. Let me know what you WANT to happen, though :D. Maybe I'll keep that in mind while I'm writing the next chapter :D.**

**Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**A/N: Oh, wow, guys. You have no idea how nervous I am about this chapter. Seriously... It's killing me right now!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

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><p>"Close your eyes," Jane whispered, and Teresa did, grabbing his hands.<p>

They entered his old house in Malibu. It gave him chills to be back here. The last time he had visited this house was when Lisbon'd tried this on him when he lost his memory. It wasn't his favorite house, that's for sure.

He led her to the stairs. How was he going to do this when she had her eyes closed?

He came to stand before her, and grabbed her arms, swinging them over his shoulders. He didn't know why he wanted her to close her eyes. But for him it gave some kind of comfort. He couldn't exactly put his finger on it.

When she jumped up and swung her legs around his waist, he could feel she was nervous. But he didn't feel that she didn't want it.

He walked upstairs, and felt shivers running down his spine as he saw that one door.

He wanted to place her down again, but she only partly complied. She kept leaning on Jane by placing her arms around his waist.

When they reached the room, he hesitated a bit. But she gave him a gentle squeeze, and that made him move again. He opened the door and was met by the bloody red smiley. But he didn't feel anything. No anger, no sadness.

"Look," he whispered, and she opened her eyes. But as soon as she did, she collapsed. Because of her arms, he could hold her uptight.

He sat down in the hall, after he'd closed the door, and placed Teresa's head on his chest.

He concentrated on his breathing, making sure he inhaled and exhaled properly, but found that rather difficult with an unconscious Teresa in his arms.

He planted small kisses on the top of her head. He didn't knew what to do anyway, so he just sat there, with Teresa in his arms, waiting until she awoke.

But she wouldn't wake up. After half an hour, she was still unconscious, and he was growing worried.

While Teresa was still in his arms, he grabbed his cell phone out of his jacket pocket, and dialed 9-1-1.

After explaining what was wrong, he hung up, and looked at Teresa again.

"Oh Reese, I hope this will result in you getting your memory back again," he whispered, and swung his arms around her again.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Mister, you can't go in here," a nurse asked, but in vain.

Jane ran inside the hospital room where they kept Teresa.

She immediately looked up.  
>But instead of the relieved smile he was expecting, the kind of relieved you got when you had amnesia and were suddenly cured, he saw fear. Or something like that. Nothing like relief.<p>

"What can you remember?" he asked, as he rushed to her side. But when he grabbed her hand, she moved away from him.

"Teresa?" he asked, but she closed her eyes.

"Don't call me Teresa. I can remember everything from before the accident, but also from after it. And what we've done together was... not good," she said, in that serious way she got taught at the police academy.

Jane now felt seriously panicked.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. I want you to leave, Jane, I never want to see you again," she again said, and Jane had to swallow to get rid of the giant lump forming in his throat.

He nodded.

"I... I understand. Well, if you want to speak with me, you know where to find me," he said, and she nodded. Not a single emotion was on her face. Not one.

He turned around, and decided not to look over his shoulder again.

He felt ashamed, because he thought that Lisbon felt the same for him as well. But he assumed he'd read her wrong. All these years.

The big Patrick Jane, known for tricking people to death, was being turned down, by the only woman he truly loved.

He felt horrible. Someone tricked him. His own Lisbon tricked him into thinking that she felt the same. All these stares, loving smiles, words of love, were just all signs of friendship, and not actual love.

When he arrived at his home – his home in Malibu – the horrible feeling hadn't disappeared yet.

So he sat down underneath the red smiley in that one room, and for once, he didn't feel the sadness of his deceased wife and child. He felt the sadness of the loss of Special Agent Teresa Lisbon. And he wasn't sure what was more difficult to bare. But considering he was now crying about the past few days, he assumed the latter one.

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa Lisbon lay in the big hospital bed.

And was crying.

And she was sure that was because of her broken heart.

That she caused herself this time. It wasn't anybody's fault. Only hers.

So why did she do it? Why did she send him away?

She didn't get it herself. She felt as if the last few days had been the happiest days she'd had in years.

Lisbon slit down in her bed, and threw the blanket over her head.

She was a moron, a nitwit. And she knew it.

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><p><strong>AN: Can you... Can you just review this, please? I want to know if this is bad or not, and if it fits what you want to read and all... Please, I want to know!**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**A/N: Wow, quick update! I seriously wanted to continue this, though it might not be like you expected. Sorry for that! **

**I'm DYING to see 4x22, it airs tonight in the US, and I can watch it tomorrow. I have to keep off of the complete freaking internet not to spoil myself in everything that happened :S.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine :'(**

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><p>"Oh, come on! Epps has an apprentice! Hasn't that thought crossed your mind?" Lisbon exclaimed at the hospital TV. She was watching old episodes of <em>Bones<em>. Not that she hadn't seen them all, but she just wanted to do something. She didn't know why they kept her in the hospital any longer, it wasn't like her situation was unstable or whatever. She assumed everybody in the hospital was worried about her doing bad things to herself. And then there was still the amnesia, from which the doctors were still not sure she was cured from that.

"Go home, Teresa. I'm not kidding. You need to get some rest, staying here and waiting till he comes to get you is useless. Above all, it was _you_ who sent him away. Not to be rude, but it's your own fault," Lisbon's nurse, Milagros Coop said as she checked some things next to Lisbon's bed.

Lisbon looked up at her.

"How do you know?"  
>"Oh, believe me, it's obvious. Besides, I'm only nineteen, and I watch a lot of soaps. Believe me, I have an eye for these things."<p>

Lisbon blushed.

"Is it that obvious?"  
>"Yeah. Even though I don't know you <em>that<em> well, this doesn't seem like you. You seem like the woman who goes after men, or adventure, not the one who looks at it in TV shows. Come on, go. Go after him. I can see you love him," Milagros said. Lisbon smiled.

"Thanks Milagros. And you should do as well," she said, while sitting up straight, and moving to get out of her bed. Milagros' eyes widened.

"Is it that obvious?" she teased, mimicking what Lisbon did a few moments ago. They both laughed, as Lisbon stood on her feet and was busy getting the hospital gown off. Milagros went to her side to help her.

"Okay, this may sound weird, coming from me, but can I just say that the man is lucky?" Milagros asked. Lisbon smiled again.

"Thank you," Lisbon whispered, and buttoned up her blouse. She reached out, and hugged the girl, which startled her.

But she complied, and put her arms around Lisbon.

"You're welcome, Sweety," Milagros whispered.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Hey Jane! Back again? Where's Lisbon?" Van Pelt asked, as Jane walked into the bullpen the next day. Jane didn't look at her, nor did he look at the rest of the team. He just shrugged, and laid down on his couch.

Van Pelt frowned.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Jane..." Van Pelt said, but Jane just stared at the Elvis stain on the ceiling.

Van Pelt sighed. She decided to let it rest.

But that decision changed when Lisbon still hadn't arrived an hour later. She jumped up, and walked over to his couch.

"Okay, speak up now or I'll beat it out of you!" she exclaimed, and Jane startled.

He opened his eyes, and sat up straight.

"I have no idea where Lisbon is."

"But what happened?"

"We... She got her memories back, and-"

"Wait, what? She recovered?" Rigsby interrupted him.

Van Pelt shot him an evil glare, to tell him to shut up and let Jane continue. It wasn't like she wasn't happy that Lisbon got back, but she rather wanted to hear what happened after that.

Jane closed his eyes.

"I... wanted to be with her, but... she said that I had to go. She didn't want to see me again. So I left. I don't know what happened to her after that."

"But..." Van Pelt murmured, trying to comprehend what he'd just said.

"What happened with you after that?" Van Pelt finally asked.

Jane frowned.

"I... I went to my old house in Malibu, and I..." he started, but didn't finish. Though that wasn't needed, at least Van Pelt understood what he meant.  
>"You broke down under the smiley. Right?" she asked, and he nodded, sadly, looking down at his lap.<p>

She placed a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up, and smiled a sad smile.

She returned it.

"Is there something I can do for you?" she asked. Jane shook his head.

But when she stood up, ready to go make some coffee for herself, he grabbed her arm.

"Wait, there is."

"What is it?"

"I... can you do a background check on Lisbon? I want to know what happened to her after her father died," he said, and she nodded.

She walked over to her computer, and opened some programs that might help her.

After a few minutes later, she looked over at Jane, and he was staring at the ceiling again.

She sighed.

She didn't exactly want to find out things about Lisbon's past. She was her boss, and she didn't think she had the right to know these things. But it could help Jane. And anything that could help Jane would do for her.

Jane was a good friend of her, and she'd always hated to see good friends in pain.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the results of one test on her screen.

"Jane," she hissed, and he jumped up.

Within seconds, he was standing next to her, looking over her shoulder to the screen.

And he too stopped dead in her tracks.  
>Why didn't she tell him this?<p>

-YulianaHenderson-

Lisbon sat outside the hospital.

Where could she go?

She didn't want to be alone, didn't want to be caught up in her depressive thoughts.

She just wanted to be with somebody.

But the only one she truly wanted to be with was out of her life. She couldn't call him anymore. He sure as hell hated her.

She took her phone out of her pocket.

No, not Rigsby. Or Van Pelt. Or Cho.

Summer was with Cho, so no Summer as well.

Hightower was on the run. She laughed. What was happening to Hightower right now, she didn't know. But she could still remember how she had adored that woman. How persistent and assertive that woman was, that was sure something Lisbon wanted be able to do as well.

That left Minelli. He was... her hero, he was the father she never had. Well, she had, but Minelli acted like a real father, a father she really wanted to have, but couldn't have.

She clicked his name, dialing his number. She waited until he answered it.

"Virgil Minelli."

"Sir! Sir... It's... It's me, Lisbon," Lisbon breathed, and Minelli already knew what was wrong. Well, not quite, but he knew that something was wrong.

"Where are you?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"At the hospital," she said, and he immediately hung up. She was sure he would take care of her, at least for the time being.

How she loved that man. She could always count on him.

Within a few minutes, he was already there. He approached her, and she slowly stood up. She then immediately flung her arms around him, and he directly complied.

He kissed the top of her head.

"You can explain what happened at home. Now, follow me into the car."

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><p><strong>AN: The episode of _Bones_ that Lisbon is watching is 2x04, FYI :D.**

**Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**A/N: Ugh, I'm suddenly growing very interested in this story, since I know what's gonna happen in further chapters, and you don't. But trust me, it's gonna be great :D.**

**So... Okay, I think this chapter is really bad. But... Yeah, okay, I just wrote this because I felt like this would be the best way to do this. And the same's for the next chapter. I had no idea how to do it, but I felt like this was the perfect thing to do :D.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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><p>Minelli placed her bag in the hall, and went into the living room.<p>

Lisbon followed.

"Okay, so what happened?" Minelli asked, as they both sat down.

Lisbon hesitated a bit, but eventually complied.

So she told him everything. From the accident, to the surgery for her arm, and how Jane had to take care of her because she was a minor in her mind, to the little chat they had in the hospital where she sent Jane out of her life.

Throughout the story, Minelli sat still, nodded sometimes. But he didn't say a word. Let her speak. That's the best for Lisbon, he guessed.

"So... You're in love with Dorothy?" he asked. She frowned.

"Who?"

"Jane."

"Yes," she said, quietly. A small smile appeared on Minelli's face.

"I always knew it, you know?"

Lisbon nodded.

"I know."

Minelli scanned Lisbon from the top of her head to her toes.

"Oh, Teresa," Minelli breathed, and Lisbon just looked at him, occasionally looking at her lap.

"Why did you call me?" Minelli asked.

Lisbon swallowed.

"Because... Because I needed somebody to talk with. And I couldn't go to _him_, so... And because you're... you're... like my... dad to me," she whispered, and faced him, looking him into the eyes.

He sighed.

He went over to her, and opened his arms for her. She hugged him, and he just pressed her against him, protecting her from the bad spirits in the world. Like she was his daughter.

And in a weird kind of way, she was. She was like a daughter to him, just like how she felt like he was a father to her. He'd always hated it when something bad happened to her. He couldn't bear it.

So seeing her like this, almost reaching her breaking point, he felt miserable.

But he felt proud that she called him for this. It had been a long time ago since they last talked, and it felt good to have her here again.

Not because of the circumstances obviously. But holding her in his arms was something he'd wanted to do for ages now, just make sure that he had some kind of love for her, that he would be there for her when she needed it the most.

He always thought that Patrick Jane had a bad influence on her, that he wasn't right for her. And he was right about that one.

But he could see she liked him. More than like. She was in love with Jane. And he wanted what was best for her.

He felt that Lisbon was crying, and he just rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"Why did you send him away?" he suddenly asked, and she pulled away.

She shrugged.

"I don't know... It just... I felt guilty, for loving him. I don't deserve him, he's still in love with Angela and Charlotte, I can't take him away from them," she whispered, her voice breaking.

"But Teresa... Of course you deserve him. I've never known people that belonged so much together like you two. Since I'm not your boss anymore, I can say this. You have my complete permission."

"But-"

"No but. Teresa, you love him, he loves you, makes you equal. He doesn't hate you, I know that thought has crossed your mind, but he can't hate you. Believe me. And if he does, I swear, I'm going to kill him with my bare hands," Minelli whispered, and took her in his arms again, letting her cry.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Lisbon? I'm going fishing, I'll be back in a few hours. Don't tear yourself up on desperate thoughts while I'm gone!" Minelli exclaimed, and left the house.

Lisbon rolled over onto her side. Seems like crying was the only thing she could do these days.

She looked in front of her, to the wall. A lot of pictures were hanging there, presumably from his ex-wife. Why he had pictures there, she didn't know. She got out of bed, and moved closer to the pictures.

She looked at them.

What a happy couple.

She touched them, and felt happiness flowing through her. What a power can pictures give you.

She got dressed, and walked downstairs.

The previous evening with Minelli had been great. He was always a listening ear to her, she could always tell him everything.

Even this. This whole mess she left concerning Jane.

She would have to clean it up herself, and she hated that.

She looked at her phone, which was placed on the counter by Minelli, just so that she wouldn't lose it between all her stuff. A few missed calls, and a few texts.

She looked at from who they were. And much to her surprise, and maybe displeasure, they weren't from Jane. A part of her wanted him to call, wanted him to beg for her to come back, to stand at his side again.

They were from Van Pelt.

Lisbon decided to call her. Maybe there was really something important, and the team needed her help.

"Van Pelt."

"Hey, Grace, it's me, Lisbon," Lisbon said, and she heard a long silence, before Van Pelt spoke again.

"Where are you?" she asked. Lisbon sighed.

"I'm safe, I promise."

"Yeah, but where are you?"

"I'm not telling you, because you will come after me to get me. No, I'm save, I just wanted to ask why you'd called."

"Because we – well, Jane – found some things out... about... well, about you. About what happened after your father's death. And we're a little concerned about you right now. So... could you please come back?"

Lisbon didn't hear what Van Pelt said after the part about her father. She'd dropped her phone, and ran out of the house, into nowhere.

-YulianaHenderson-

Minelli entered the house. He put the fishing rod he'd used back where it belonged, and turned to look at the living room.

There was something odd about it, but he couldn't exactly put a finger on it. But then he realized what it was. The door had been open when he came back, Lisbon's phone was laying on the ground in the kitchen.

Minelli stopped dead in his tracks.

But he immediately ran over to the phone, and looked at the last number that was dialed.

Much to his relief, it was from Van Pelt.

He dialed it.

"Van Pelt. Lisbon was staying at my house, and now she's gone. I was fishing, and she left the house when I came back," Minelli explained, not giving Van Pelt a chance to react.

"Wait. She was with you?" Van Pelt asked. Minelli sighed.

"Yes. She asked for it, when she left the hospital."

"But she's not with you anymore? Oh, great..." Van Pelt murmured.

"I'll call you back, Sir."

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><p><strong>AN: That part where Minelli calls Jane Dorothy is from an episode, though I'm not sure which one. I just really wanted to add that in my story, to show that Minelli is NOT Red John, like a few believe. I love him, he's just such a nice man and all. Love him :D.**

**I'm gonna post the next chapter tomorrow, or in a few days, I'll see :D. Oh! Maybe I can do again that I want 6 new reviews for this chapter, before I'm gonna post the new chapter! Yes, I'm gonna do that! 6 new reviews for the next chapter, seems like a fair deal to me :D. Let's see how much you want to read the next chapter :P.**

**Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you!**


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Seems like you wanted to read the next chapter too much, haha :D.**

**This chapter is a lot of fluff, really. Towards the end, it's more like slight smut, but not M :D. But maybe your opinion is different on that one :D. I felt like I had to mention, because I don't want to get any flames :D. Let's say that you can see it as M rated, but the beginning of M rated, if you know what I mean? The foreplay, lol :D.**

**Disclaimer: Guess what, I still don't own The Mentalist.**

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><p>"Lisbon!" Rigsby exclaimed while the entire team searched the area.<p>

Well, entire team minus Jane.

He'd been stubborn when they were about to go looking for Lisbon. He'd told them he didn't want to look for her, that she didn't want to see him anyways.

So they let him lay on his couch, doing whatever Patrick Jane is doing on that awful thing.

Now, the team was looking for Lisbon.

They weren't sure in what state she was. Maybe she was just a little lost. But she could also be seriously disturbed by now, who knew?

They walked around the forest, looking for over an hour, when they saw her. She was sitting on a fallen tree, staring at her lap.

Van Pelt ran over to her, and knelt in front of Lisbon.

"Lisbon, can you hear me?" she asked, and Lisbon looked at her.

She nodded, and Van Pelt let out a sigh of relief. At least she hadn't entirely lost her mind.

Lisbon then looked around. Van Pelt didn't even had to ask why. Lisbon had somehow hoped that Jane would be here, would be here to save her, just like he'd done after the accident.

"Jane is not here, he's at the office. Now, let me take you there," Van Pelt said, and Lisbon again just nodded.

Van Pelt looked over at Rigsby, and he nodded as well.

They needed to get these two together in a room, now. Or for God's sake, even the rest of the team would lose their minds.

-YulianaHenderson-

Minelli had driven with the team, making sure Lisbon was delivered safely at the CBI. When they'd arrived there, he nodded, and grabbed his phone to get a taxi. Then he'd left.

The team carefully brought Lisbon to the bullpen. They didn't even know why they didn't let her see a doctor. They just wanted Jane and Lisbon to be together again.

Before they let Lisbon enter the bullpen, Cho had suggested to Jane that he should go to interrogation room 1. And that was where they brought Lisbon to as well.

They closed the door, after closing the blinds, and sighed in satisfaction. They were going to be hooked up in a few minutes.

-YulianaHenderson-

Lisbon looked at the door Van Pelt had just closed. She didn't want to turn around, she knew who was sitting there, silently.  
>But Jane didn't do anything either, was just sitting at the table, looking at the mirror on the wall.<p>

Well, this was awkward.

Jane sighed, and looked at her. But he didn't dare to say anything.  
>And for the first time in, well, a while, he saw her. He truly saw her. Not just his boss. Not someone in a wrong body. He saw <em>her<em>. Teresa Lisbon.

He jumped up, and came to stand behind her. He saw how she shuddered when his breath touched her bare neck.

He reached out with his finger, and traced her spine, from her neck to her lower back. And she kept on shuddering, until he ended at her tailbone.

She turned around. Looked him in the eye. Her eyes burned into his.

He felt a cold breeze running down his own spine.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked.

She seemed to be looking for the right answer. Wanted to blame him for everything that happened. From the accident to the moment she'd sent him out of her life. But that was the problem: It was her, who destroyed 'them'. Not him.

She shook her head.

"Nothing."

"Then why did you send me away?" he asked. She again shook her head.

"I don't know."

Jane sighed. He knew she was lying, could read her like an open book since he first signed on with her.

"Okay, it was because of Angela and Charlotte. I had the feeling that I shouldn't have been with you, while they deserved you more than I did. I wasn't supposed to be the one that made you feel happy, wasn't supposed to be the one you fell in love with. It shouldn't have been me."

"But it is you," Jane added.

She nodded.

"And I can't change what I feel for you, even if you don't like that or don't want that," he whispered.

She closed her eyes.

"I know."

"Then why did you-"

Jane was cut off by Lisbon swinging her arms around him. And the fool he was, he couldn't not comply. So he placed his hands on the small of her back.

"Just... Just be quiet, okay?" Lisbon asked, silently, and Jane nodded.

He pulled away, and before she knew it, she was pressed against the wall.

He looked her in the eyes.

"Will you please stop thinking that you don't deserve me. Because Teresa, trust me, you deserve me. If there is anybody that doesn't deserve someone, it's me," Jane whispered. Lisbon nodded.

"I can't promise you things. But I'll try," she replied, with a faint smile.

He smiled back. He buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"What did you find out?" Lisbon asked, after a long time. He pulled away.

"It doesn't matter-"

"Yes, it does. I want to know what you know about my youth," she said. He let her go, and walked over to the table, sitting down on one of the chairs. He motioned to the one next to the chair he was sitting on, and she sat down. He took her small hands in his big ones, and looked her the eyes.

"I found out what happened after your dad died. You couldn't tell me, because you didn't remember. But now I know. You... weren't able to take care of your little brothers. Only for a short amount of time. Three years after your dad died, you and your brothers were placed in the foster care system," he said. She lowered her head.

"Yes...," she whispered. Jane placed his hand under her chin, making her look up again.

"And you blamed yourself for the rest of your life because you and your brothers had to leave each other," he said.

She nodded.

"You know you couldn't have prevented it, right?" he asked. She nodded again.

A tear escaped her eyes, but she brushed it away.

"I... I know. But I took care of them since my mother died, why couldn't I do it after my father was gone?" she asked. He shook his head.  
>"I don't know, Teresa. It's not your fault, believe me-"<p>

"It is. I screwed up with taking care of them, besides they were my responsibility, and-"

Jane stopped her by kissing her for the first time since she had her memory back. Their promise. Her promise. "_I'm certain that I'll, as in the one I'm supposed to be, come back eventually. Save all the kisses you've got for that moment, okay?"_

She deepened the kiss by swinging her arms around his neck and pulling him in closer.

They both stood up, not letting each other's lips go, and Lisbon was soon pressed against the wall again. This time, Jane saw no reason to let her go, so he grabbed her hips, and pulled her up. She swung her legs around his waist, her arms still around his neck. He broke the kiss, now kissing her cheek, her nose, the corner of her mouth, her forehead, but then went down.  
>He paused at her lips, claiming them in a lustful, hungry kiss. He then went down, kissing her chin, her throat, and eventually the space between her breasts. She shuddered.<p>

He then pulled away, his arms almost sealed on her arms, not letting her go again, as he let her stand on her feet again.

"Let's go home, okay?" he asked. She nodded, intertwining their hands as they walked out of the building, gazes of their fellow co-workers and other people that walked in and out of their bullpen every day following them.

The team looked at them, clearly amused by what they'd done. They knew that Lisbon didn't have to see a doctor, because Jane could be her doctor. And now, they were probably going home, and God knew what they were going to do there.

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><p><strong>AN: Yeah, okay, so I must seriously warn you that the next chapter is gonna be M rated, but only that chapter (so far, that is)! It's not pure smut, but it's M rated nonetheless :D. I don't want to change the complete rating of this story because of one M rated chapter, but I felt like warning you for that :D. Btw, you can skip that chapter if you want to, you won't miss that much if you do :D.**

**Let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you! :D**


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**A/N: So, I begin to have the feeling that I'm writing this for myself. I seriously ask you, if you like this story, REVIEW, or add it to your favorites/alerts. I very much appreciate that :D.**

**Again, this chapter is M, but not utterly M :D. Just to warn you :D. I kept it proper and decent though, if I might say so :D. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

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><p>Jane opened the door for Lisbon, and she entered.<p>

He closed the door behind him, and noticed his hands were shaking. Why was he nervous? He knew how to do this, had done this many times before, with his wife.

But that was it. The problem. It had been years ago since he last had had a woman's touch, had done this. And he was afraid it would be all one big mistake. That Lisbon would leave him in the morning, but now for good.

He looked at Lisbon. He approached her, and saw she was nervous as well.

Eight years of perfect friendship, thrown away because of a stupid mistake. But maybe it wasn't. Only time would learn.

He gently took her hands in his.

"Are you certain? I mean, this can be a little soon for both of us, and I wouldn't want to hurt you after all that you've been through."

Lisbon smiled faintly at his concern.

"I'm certain. I want this, I want to forget. I want you," she replied, quietly, almost that low that Jane couldn't hear her.

But even if he couldn't hear what she was saying, he was still an excellent lip reader.

He slowly approached her more, their faces almost touching, bowed down and kissed her.

She immediately deepened the kiss, opening her mouth for him. He began to play a game with her tongue, while their hands were everywhere.

On one moment, Lisbon felt Jane's hands go under her shirt, stroking the sensitive skin on her abdomen. She groaned in his mouth, and she pulled on his curls, tugging them in a cute but painful way. He smiled against her lips.

"What?" she asked. He shook his head.

"Nothing, my love," he replied, and claimed her lips again.

He then gently pulled her shirt over her head, and because of the shirt between them, they needed to part.  
>Jane took the opportunity to look at her breasts, this time without feeling guilty because he wasn't supposed to look at them.<p>

She watched his reaction, as he took in her new bra.

It was a pink one, with little butterflies and flowers on it. She didn't know why she'd bought it, but since no one needed to see it, she thought, there was no use in wearing fancy bras. She regretted that now.

A small, teasing smile appeared on his face.

"I didn't think you were the girly type, Lisbon. But, after the incident I found that you used to be girly. Where did that little girl go?" he teased. She hit his arm, but Jane grabbed the hand she'd slapped him with, and placed kisses on it, slowly moving upwards to the crook of her neck. He nibbled at her ear, before slowly pushing her down on the couch.

His mouth made way to the place she really wanted him, and he really wanted to be.

He pulled down her pants and panties in one fluent movement.

Lisbon shuddered at the sudden cold touching her intimate down parts.

Jane placed a small kiss there, triggering a gasp from her. He put his arms under her armpits, pulling her up into a kiss again. He fumbled with her bra on her back, but finally heard a _Snap_, and tossed the thing away.

Before Jane could stroke her now naked breasts, she stopped the kiss, pulling away.

It was not until he looked at where she was looking that he realized that he was still fully clothed. He smiled.

"Mind if I do a little striptease?" he asked, and she chuckled. He wanted to make her laugh, the sound so utterly cute and perfect he could never get enough of that.

He took her chuckle as a 'no', and stood up. His legs felt wobbly, but he didn't fall down.

He slowly – too slow for Lisbon's liking – unbuttoned his vest and his shirt, and saw that Lisbon liked what he hid under his usual three-piece-suit.

He didn't use to sport a lot, if laying on a couch all day is called a sport, but he occasionally worked out. It were moments like these that he loved himself for that.

He took less time of his pants and underwear, and noticed he'd already lost his shoes.

As soon as all the clothes were off, he almost dove on Lisbon, kissing her passionately. He lifted her up, just to place her on the armrest moments later. As she laid down, she pulled him with her, and it took all his willpower and biofeedback skills not to come there and then.

He looked her in the eyes again. He didn't know why, but he really wanted to know that she knew for sure. He didn't want to hurt her, so he took it slow and gentle.

"Still certain?" he asked. She nodded.

"A hundred percent."

"Will you tell me if I hurt you?" he asked, on which Lisbon changed the angle of her hips, his erection teasing her entrance.

He then entered her, and she saw stars. Not because it hurt, but because she'd never experienced such a feeling like this in her life.

Sure, she was no virgin anymore, not at all.

But her experiences with men in the last eight years were limited down to one: Walter Mashburn. And that was a big mistake.

But now, it wasn't just about the sex. It was about more. And that seemed to have always been missing in her life: the sparks, the flirting words, the love. She was in love with Patrick Jane, and maybe that was why it felt like she was deflowered all over again.

He started to thrust, slow, gentle ones. Jane bowed down to kiss her.

It didn't take long for them to come, considering it had been ages ago for both of them.

And instead of feeling guilty or sad, Lisbon felt like the happiest woman in the world when Jane lost control inside her, whispered her name, her Christian name.

After Jane came, he almost collapsed on her, feeling tired to the bones. When he moved out of her, they both made sounds of reluctance.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, and smiled, still panting.

"What would the team think of this?" he suddenly asked, his question seeming serious, the tone in which he asked this was teasing.

She shrugged.  
>"I don't know. And frankly, I don't care what they think. Besides, they already knew we were going to do this long before we did," she said. He looked at her, and suddenly began laughing.<p>

Though she didn't know why he laughed, she still joined him, laughing and brushing a hand through his beautiful golden curls.

He then sat up straight, pulling her with him, and lifted her up bride-like, like he'd done a lot of times these days.

He walked to his bedroom, and wanted to sit her down on the bed, but as usual, she didn't let him go, so he just carefully leant on his arms, laying her down on her back on the bed, and he on top of her.

She then suddenly grabbed his upper-arms – not bad, she had to admit – and with one fluent, for as much half tackling someone could be called fluent, movement, he was laying on his back, Lisbon's hips strangling his.

She leaned in for a kiss, her hair falling like a protective waterfall around their heads, shielding them both from the outside world.

"I love you, Jane, I love you so much," Lisbon whispered. Jane cupped her face, and kissed her shortly before replying with: "I know, Teresa, and I love you too. I always had and I always will."

A big, happy grin spread on her face, and she laid down next to him, placing her head on his chest.

And before they knew it, before they could protest it, they were both asleep, lost in beautiful dreams which, surprisingly, contained the other.

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><p><strong>AN: So! That was this chapter! If I can stick a bit to my plan, this will be the only M rated chapter, maybe a few scenes that you can call M rated in further chapters, but not really much :D.**

**Like I said: Please, your reviews and alerts/favorites make me HAPPY! So please leave a REVIEW, thank you!**


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**A/N: This is gonna be one of these Author's Notes from which you think: Why did she even put an A/N here?**

**Oh well, just a warning that this is probably going to be the last chapter, read the second A/N to get the whole thinking behind it :D.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist, nor do I get money for writing this story.**

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><p>Jane woke up. A big grin spread on his face as he remembered what'd happened last night.<p>

But when he looked next to him, he found the bed was empty. He shot up, immediately jumping up, and running downstairs, suddenly really panicking.

To his relief Lisbon was standing in the kitchen, making breakfast, dressed in shorts and a simple t-shirt.

He let out a sigh of relief.

She looked up, and smiled when she saw him. He descended the stairs, and flung his arms around her.

She startled.

"What's wrong?" she whispered, worriedly.

He brushed her hair, kissing her ear gently.

"Jane, what happened?" she asked again when she got no reply.

"Nothing, I was just afraid that you left me, that you were regretting what we did," he whispered. She sighed, and pulled away, placing a small kiss on his cheek and returning to the kitchen.

"Don't be stupid, how can I leave you?"

He shrugged.  
>"Besides, you know too much, I would have to kill you if we'd ever break up," she joked.<p>

And he burst into laughing, the sound warming her heart and almost made her jump him where he stood.

She focused on the eggs she was preparing, and after a few moments she heard that Jane went upstairs again, probably to put on some clothes. She giggled at the fact that she didn't realize he was still naked.

Lisbon put her egg on a plate, and sat down at the table.

She looked around, while eating the poor breakfast.

It was strange to be here, the memories of the past days were still printed in her brain.

But she could really imagine living her now, with Patrick Jane, the one man she truly loved.

It was funny, though.

Three weeks ago she swore for professional distance, relationships between co-workers forever forbidden. Even touching them in the form of a soothing hug, or calling them with their first names was out of the question.

It was all she had. Her job meant everything to her, she really had the feeling she needed it. She had gave up the chance of having a family long ago. No one would make a move on her anyway, they wouldn't dare to if they wanted to live.

Like Jane said the evening before: she used to be a girly girl. Not that she wore pink all the time, but she at least complied to her inner feminine voice, wearing dresses and all.

But she didn't have time for taking forever in putting on her make-up, or in any way spending time on making herself beautiful and pretty with clothes or other things. Her brothers took all her energy, and she didn't complain one minute.

She almost went back to that girly side of herself when she got together with Greg. He ignited feelings in her that she'd never experienced. When he asked her to marry him – if it was a little later, she would definitely have said yes, but she was only eighteen, she was way to young – she knew it was too fast, and broke up with him. And that was when she officially went from 'the sweet and girly Teresa Lisbon' to 'tough Teresa Lisbon, the tomboy that always puts others in front of her, because she doesn't care about herself, only about others'.

If her mother was still there, she could've helped Lisbon with female things, like with 'becoming a woman' or being in love for the first time. But no, it was _her_ mother, of all people, who had to be involved in a car accident, and then die. Lisbon'd always hated the car driver that killed her.

That was why she became a cop; fighting crime was the best thing there was, since people that broke the law needed to be punished for what they did. But she admitted that sometimes she got a little too far in 'fighting crime'.

She suddenly had no appetite anymore, these memories pushing that away.  
>She stood up, and walked over to the nearest mirror, which was in the hall.<p>

The mirror was as big as her, well, not so big, obviously, only a small 5 foot 4, but she thought it was still funny the mirror was this big.

She examined herself, her eyebrows raised.  
>Jane was right: Where did that girly girl go? She was probably left at the funeral of her dad.<p>

She startled when Jane jumped up behind her, immediately kissing her neck.

She smiled in the mirror, looking into his eyes.

"A bit insecure, aren't you?" he teased. But she nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, why was I a real girl when I was younger, and why am I now so not feminine?" she asked.

He shrugged, and turned her around.

"Look, I know I asked you last night, but I really don't mind you being not entirely girly. I love you still," he whispered. She smiled.

"Well, thank you," she replied, and tiptoed to kiss him on the lips.

He immediately grabbed her arms, and pushed her against the wall, almost making the mirror fall off the wall.

"You make me go mad with lust," he purred in her ear, and she chuckled.

"I know," she replied, and stroked his curls, tugging on them slightly like she did the night before.

She patted his cheek, and slipped away from his arms.

He turned around, wanted to grab her again and turn her over to face him, but she instead stumbled over and fell on the floor, her ability to react like a ninja still intact so she could push her arms in front of her to break her fall.

He looked down at her, and broke into laughter. She joined him, rubbing her eyes and turning over to her back.

He bowed down next to her, and looked her in the eyes. Then, he lay down beside her, taking her in his arms, her face laying on top of his chest. They were silent for a long moment, Lisbon listening to his heartbeat, and Jane stroking her arms.

"You know, Lisbon, after Angela and Charlotte's deaths I had the feeling I could never love again. I was doomed to be the loner in every story forever. But then I met you, and believe it or not, you made me lose my control day after day. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to touch you, to take you in my arms if you were sad. But I didn't feel like I was your prince on the white horse. I knew how you felt about me, and I guess that made me even more frightened. But I was blind, completely and utterly blind. Of course I belong with you, just as much as you belong with me. And I'll do everything I can to make you feel happy, satisfied, but most of all, to make you stop feeling so damn guilty. Because Teresa, believe me, you have no reason at all to be feeling guilty," he whispered, his speech so full of emotions, so passionate that Lisbon burst into tears when he was done. He cupped her face, and kissed her tears away.

"I love you, Lisbon, and that will never, ever change. And to make these words sound more effective, I need to ask you one thing," he said. She frowned, but he sat up straight, and pulled her with him.

He took her hands in his, brushed them gently and felt them shaking.

"Teresa Lisbon, beautiful Senior Special Agent Teresa Lisbon, do you take me for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish me from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto me for as long as we both shall live?" Jane asked, tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

She looked at him, then at their hands that were now intertwined, and then at him again, and then suddenly flung him around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

He placed his hands on her back, but felt nervous because she didn't give him an answer yet.

She then pulled away, frantically nodding 'yes'.

She couldn't say anything, but she didn't need to. Her eyes spoke words, and he kissed her, kissed her like he'd never done before, not even like the previous night. He would buy a ring for her this afternoon, but he felt he had to ask it, for now was the best moment and a moment like this would never come by again.

He pulled away, and immediately looked at his left hand. The evil wedding band was still on his ring finger, and he pulled it off as if it was burning. He threw it away, looked after it, and then looked at Teresa, who was all the while looking at him.

He smiled, then kissed her again, pushing her gently down on the floor.

Teresa Lisbon would never feel insecure about herself again, nor would she ever struggle with her past. Her past was her past, it was called the past for a reason. She couldn't change anything about it, wouldn't, to be precise, because if she did, she would probably never have met Patrick Jane.

But most of all had she finally found peace with her past. She at first had hated the drunk driver that killed her mother, hated her father for lamely killing himself because he couldn't cope with the reality anymore, leaving her and her younger brothers behind.

But she silently thanked them all, for scarring and hurting her like hell, so that she became the woman she was now. Because she was proud of herself.

And that would never change. Not even through the eyes of the younger her, through the eyes of a child.

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><p><strong>AN: Wow, okay, so... That was basically this story! I wanted to continue it further, but I have no idea how to do that, so I just ended it here. The same lame ending I give almost all of my stories, but this was more hurt/comfort instead of plain fluff. I actually love what Jane said to Lisbon :D. I know, it's bad right? I like my own story :D.**

**I'm also busy with my final exams, they take a lot of my time and I don't have an awful lot of time. So maybe I think of something in a few weeks, but for now, this is it, I guess :D.**

**Please let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you! Only then can I know for sure what you think about this story, and if you want it to be continued or not :D. Let me know, PLEASE!**


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